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Idle Hands: Montreal Canadiens

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So you guys have once again come through with the goods with our Hockey Reference sponsorships. All of the spots have been renewed and a couple more have been added. Now it's time to decide what we want each caption to read. We have 255 characters (including spaces) to inflict as much psychological damage while maximizing hilarity. So it's time to put your thinking caps on. No, not the tinfoil ones. Those are for when the league conspires against the Leafs.

First up: The Montreal Canadiens. Here is what we have currently thanks to Down Goes Brown:

Soon, kids who weren't even born the last time they won the Cup will be old enough to drive the cars that get set on fire after a playoff win.

Not bad considering the city's loose grasp of the rule of law. So the question is: Can you do better?