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Idle Hands: Daniel Alfredsson

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So you guys have once again come through with the goods with our Hockey Reference sponsorships. All of the spots have been renewed and a couple more have been added. Now it's time to decide what we want each caption to say. We have 255 characters (including spaces) to inflict as much psychological damage/hilarity. So it's time to put your thinking caps on. No, not the tinfoil ones. Those are for when the league conspires against the Leafs.

Next up: Daniel Alfredsson. Here is what we have currently thanks to the general terribleness of the National Capital Region and the contributions of DGB, Jared, and MF37:

Go ahead and write it, I guarantee we'll win the Cup." - Daniel Alfredsson, 2004.

Not bad considering that most of us probably just fell asleep thinking of Ottawa. So the question is: Can you do better?