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Ian White's Mustache Welcomes You to the Phollicle Phriendly Philthy Phil's Place!

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Ian White's Mustache wants to have pizza with Phil Kessel!  (via

You may be asking yourself; "What does a mustache know about hockey?"  Well, let's look at exhibit A.  No, does nothing for ya?  How about exhibit B?  Still nothing!?  Alright, let's take off the gloves.  WAM!!!BAM!!!!1  Ya, that's what I thought...

Now I'm not saying that I'm the reason for Ian White's turnaround last season, who are we kidding?  Have you seen him so far this pre-season?  Ya, me neither.  He knows my number.

I wanna welcome Phil Kessel to the Leafs.  His upper lip has loads of potential for hair growth, and that's a good thing.  People keep talking smack about how "soft" Phil is.  Well, I'm here to tell ya, all he needs is a little time.  Once those follicles get to growing, he'll be a tough SOB.  And I know thing or two about tough SOB's...

Well, that's pretty sweet.  All you folks worried about Kessel's hit totals probably feel pretty silly now, don't ya?

We're wrapping up Philthy Phil's Place for the week, and what an inaugural week it was.  Special guests abounded, and we saved the best for last.  There's nowhere to go but down...