Fade up to a grimy street corner at night, somewhere in North America in 2014. Enter hotshot investigative reporter, Guy Smiley.
"Life on the streets. It's a tough world out here. Crime, narcotics, rum, sodomy and the lash." He encounters a strangely well-dressed man of the streets. "Young man, may we speak to you for a while?
He replies he heavily accented English "Ah....sure. You're not from The Star are you?"
"No, we're making a documentary about how people come to be in your unfortunate position."
"I remember it like it was yesterday. Like it was contents of my old manbag. He gets a little tearful here, but holds it together. That damn Monster. Who knew a human being could cover those sorts of angles? Who knew a man's leg could suddenly be 8 feet long? He robbed Ryno and robbed me of my dignity at the same time. Now all I have is my patch here on the street and my chats with Raycroft at the municipal dump."
"Are you.....Vesa Toskala?"
"I WAS Vesa Toskala. Now I am Kalevala, king of the kerbside! Could you spare me a dollar for a Moebius scarf?"
"Urgh, get a job you freeloading mooch! Smiley exits, stage left.
- Only one place to start today - THAT SAVE. Maple Leaf Hot Stove and Fallen Leafs cover the main event, as Toronto Mike has a quick look at some of the great Monsters of history.
- Not all bad news for the Vesa however, Dr Steve fights his corner here and also foresees a decent season for the Marlies.
- With a measly four and a bit days before the first puck drops in anger, Toronto Sports Media merely wishes to state 'Bring it on'.
- Somny's Vintage Leafs are back, featuring a little old time fist talk.
- Truculeafs has their take on who makes the cut this year.
- And finally, our good friend of the show and my Euro compatriot Sleza previews the Southeast division in her own inimitable style.
- LAKE BREAKING NEWS - Archi might get a bit tearful on not being included first time round, but he's the only one who can breakdown hockey players in their whistles. So have at it, blubbermouth.