clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Goaltending: Life On The Streets

New, comments

Fade up to a grimy street corner at night, somewhere in North America in 2014. Enter hotshot investigative reporter, Guy Smiley.

"Life on the streets. It's a tough world out here. Crime, narcotics, rum, sodomy and the lash." He encounters a strangely well-dressed man of the streets. "Young man, may we speak to you for a while?

He replies he heavily accented English "Ah....sure. You're not from The Star are you?"

"No, we're making a documentary about how people come to be in your unfortunate position."

"I remember it like it was yesterday. Like it was contents of my old manbag. He gets a little tearful here, but holds it together. That damn Monster. Who knew a human being could cover those sorts of angles? Who knew a man's leg could suddenly be 8 feet long? He robbed Ryno and robbed me of my dignity at the same time. Now all I have is my patch here on the street and my chats with Raycroft at the municipal dump."

"Are you.....Vesa Toskala?"

"I WAS Vesa Toskala. Now I am Kalevala, king of the kerbside! Could you spare me a dollar for a Moebius scarf?"

"Urgh, get a job you freeloading mooch! Smiley exits, stage left.