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An Ode to Winkle

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<em>This is what I imagine Winkle to look like.</em>
This is what I imagine Winkle to look like.

Well, ladies and gents, welcome to your first day under your new FTB overlords.  In honour of this momentous occasion, I thought I would take the opportunity to write an ode to my long-since defeated nemesis, who I am sure rolled in his grave at yesterday’s announcement that my presence here would become even harder to avoid.  I present to you, and Ode to Winkle.

(Note: Winkle was a user notorious for hating everything, especially Macs, who turned a new leaf and returned as PLAYOFFS!!!1  The following is written with his hatred in mind.)

Discussed at length yesterday, but exciting enough to be mentioned twice, Tyler Bozak was called up yesterday. Here's Steve's input from Hockey Analysis. Don't get your hopes up, though, as he will obviously fail in this role as badly as Hayden Christensen failed in his role as Anakin Skywalker.

Meanwhile, it seems that every other blog is asking their fans: What would you trade for Ilya Kovalchuk?  Here's Lighthouse Hockey, Battle of California, Blueshirts Banter, Broad Street Hockey, Defending the Big DIn Lou We Trust,On the Forecheck, Silver Seven.  But the Lighting have no room for Kovalchuck.  Hey!  At least the Leafs aren't alone on this one!  But look at that, the Lightning have a cup since 1967.  But hey, we're Leaf fans, we don't need hope in the form of trade deadline rentals, we have Phil Kessel!!!

Which of course is appropriate, because the NHL Central Scouting released their rankings of draft-eligible North American hockey players yesterday.  Peruse the links and think of the talent we wasted for Phil Kessel!

And speaking of Phil Kessel and how we overpaid for him, MLHS has some suggestions about how Phil Kessel could overcome his slump. 

Down south of the border (or, more likely, from the comfort of his cushy office at MLSE) the C's and A's for Team USA were handed out.  Geeze, Burke, how can you name a Team USA captain already while neglecting naming one for the Leafs?  WE NEED A CAPTAIN!

Nazem Kadri made it through the OHL trade deadline without moving teams, and was relieved to do so.  Sounds like he'll fit in great with the Leafs, who never have any players move teams at the deadline!

Now here's someone full of anger like our honoured member today: Pal Hal Pall does a Kessel thought experiment.

Something that even gets me angry: Puck Daddy on Mike Danton playing in the CIS next year.   Hey, all you kids in university!  We're going to allow former NHLers to play against you, that should really make the games more enjoying!  WOOO!  GO BUY A MAC!

Spaceweed would like you all to meet Bim Jallsille.  Yeah.  I'll leave this un-Winkle-fied, since PPP would just delete what I wrote.

Loser Domi has a new LOLee Stempniak for you.  Oh, joy.  A flashy gimmick, like Micheal Bay movies.

TSM, meanwhile, plays the optimist and predicts that the Leafs will soon go on a roll.  I eat optimists like him for breakfast!

Well that's it for this special introductory Winkle-fied edition of the FTB.  Now, go get a life and stop talking to me so much!

Update: Pucking Hilarious' new design is out just in time for the Olympics so you can look good while Canada disappoints us (was that Winkle-y enough?).

Update2: Psycho Lady Hockey has a good piece about Toronto fans and rebuilding.