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Revisionist History

You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.
You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.

Scott Clemmensen made his first start of the season on Tuesday, and had he not collided with Toronto's Colton Orr during the third period, he might have come away with a win or at least a point. - Miami Herald

Let's play a game I invented called "Hockey in the Land of Make Believe". In this game we'll pretend things happened differently at key moments and then use our revised history to talk about how great we are.

First and foremost in Make Believe Land we'll give the Panthers back Colton Orr's goal. As a result of this goal Phil Kessel stops skating on his breakaway and instead of torching Scott Clemmensen he discovers Zen Buddhism and decides to become a stay at home defenseman.

Furthermore the Panthers aren't forced to pull their goalie late in the game and thus with fewer men on the ice they could have improved the number of shots on net they got in the last two minutes of the third period with an extra attacker from "zero" to "potentially more than zero".

Unfortunately for the Panthers in Make Believe Land the Original Six never opted for expansion and they don't exist. Leafs win by default. Next.

"It's obvious I don't know what goalie interference is," coach Pete DeBoer said. "I don't know what hitting from behind is, I don't know what interference is. I need to call the league and get myself a tutorial on what those penalties are because, if those aren't hits from behind in the first period on Kulikov and then goalie interference in the third period, then I obviously don't understand the description of the rules."  - Miami Herald

Agreed on all counts.

Said captain Bryan McCabe: ``They missed a call, blatant interference. Clemmer had no chance to stop that puck. What are you going to do?" - Miami Herald

Bryan McCabe, no stranger to losing games for his team, seems to switch subjects mid quote here. Sure Colton Orr interfered with Clemmensen but I don't see how Clemmensen having no chance on Kessel's snipe show has anything to do with that.

Florida seemed to be getting the better of the Leafs in the third - Miami Herald

The Panthers were outshot 11-8 in the third period and were outshot 27-22 in the game. The only reason the Panthers didn't lose earlier is because they put four men on their blue line to play the trap.

Oh well, at least they have the Miami Heat. Oh. Ouch.