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Update: Lee from Keswick Still a Moron

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You may remember this story from Puck Daddy, wherein a Leafs fan put his fan allegiance up on eBay:

"I will remove all Leaf Memorabilia from my home and replace it with the team of choice of the winning bidder. I will root for my ‘new team' whenever they are on TV.  I will argue with the guys at work that my new team is the best," wrote Kirby. "The best part for me is now I can laugh at the Maple Laughs."

Actually Lee the best part is that all of us are going to sit around and laugh at you. I have no personal ill will toward the Dallas Stars aside from Mike Ribiero who's a complete clown. I like their jerseys and the organization has done a great job growing grassroots support in Texas by building rinks and starting youth hockey leagues. Dallas is the blueprint for how to grow the game of hockey.

That said this is hysterical:

"We have no one in the system, no first-round pick and just to Kessel to show for it," he said. "I don't see any of those [Doug] Gilmour deals happening, and I don't see a quick turnaround because of the salary cap. I think Burke overestimated how good this team was going to be."

I don't know if Lee from Keswick is psychic and stupid but welcome aboard Dion Phaneuf and let's start the scoring. I'm going to award a point to Toronto for having Kessel. I'm going to award Lee from Keswick a point for every player on the Stars with more goals than Kessel.

Toronto 1 LfK 0

I'm also going to take umbrage with the "Doug Gilmour deals" clause and point out that not only did we get Dion Phaneuf for spare parts (1 point for us) we did it in a trade with Calgary (1 point for us).

Toronto 3 LfK 0

Kirby works at the local hospital with other hockey fans that support successful franchises like the Philadelphia Flyers and the Boston Bruins. "For the last few years, they've had good teams. I had the Leafs," he said. "I had enough."

Luckily Lee also has a successful team so he can jaw about the playoffs with Flyers and Bruins fans. Wait, what's that? The Stars aren't in the playoffs now? Oh well surely something weird happened in the first round and they got unlucky.

Oddly enough I can't figure out who Dallas' first round opponent was this year. Oh well, I'm sure Lee Kirby's happy with his twenty five dollar donation to charity. If you work with him be sure to call him a moron next year as the Stars pray to god Kari Lehtonen doesn't spend 60 games on IR. We got rid of our shitty Finnish goalie to make the final score Toronto 4 LfK 0.