If you don't have a Twitter account, then you're a parasitic troglodyte and you really need one. It also means that you missed out on the NHLSexActs hashtag from yesterday. It started with Archi asking what you call it when a smoking hot girl has two butt ugly older sisters. Some suggestions were Cinderella, Third Time's the Charm, Marge Simpson, Gretzky, Fresh Pea in a Rotten Pod, the Baldwin, Bizzarro Meatloaf, and the Gretzky. Then the discussion shifted to the fact that Wayne was the oldest, so it didn't work. Therefore I suggested the Reverse Gretzky, but PPP informed me that that was in fact a sexual position.
From there I believe it was archluke who gave us the first use of the #NHLSexActs hashtag:
The Derek Roy: Go down even though she did nothing to warrant it.
And from there it snowballed into awesomeness. Here are some of my favorites:
The Marian Hossa: You keep whoring yourself out and wonder why you never get a ring.
The Patrick Roy: Perform terribly; don't pull out; throw up your arms in mock celebration; then accuse her of humiliating you.
The Vancouver Canucks Fan: Tell the Leaf fan how great you are despite being a virgin that's just overcompensating.
The Pierre McGuire: She compensates for being useless by making loud noises and calling you a monster.
The Lanny McDonald: Mustache rides are not optional.
The Senators fan: Something boring, in a motel outside of town.
Montreal'n it: Rigorous public masturbation accompanied by an "Ole" chant.
If you can tell me who Ryan Carter is, then apparently you're one of the few.
Internet celebrity Travis Hair gives you the skinny on the Coyotes ownership front.
Simon Gagne pulls a Marc Savard as he comes back from injury to score the OT winner.
Is it really an upset with rosters like these?
Darren Dreger reports that a move to Winnipeg is very possible.
A look at the unfair criticism given to #87
Keep the cup in the USofA!
Bloge Salming brings you the first video in a new series.
VLM writes about how Bobby Lu and Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukka Rask are both under the spotlight.
The only thing lacking is a color photo to show all the blood.