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Leafs 3, Lightning 2 , Tim Gleason -3

Why do the hockey gods hate Tim Gleason?


What is a snuff film? Wikipedia describes it thusly:

A snuff is a motion picture genre that depicts the actual murder of a person or people, without the aid of special effects, for the express purpose of distribution and entertainment or financial exploitation.

This definition nearly described tonight's game as those in attendance nearly watched the slow, building death of defenseman Tim Gleason. In the second period, Gleason took a slapshot off the leg and was clearly in a lot of pain as he limped to the bench. Early in the third, Jonathan Bernier played the puck behind the net directly into Gleason's face (wear a shield you fucking moron). Then late in the third, Gleason was on the receiving end of a dangerous check from behind into the boards and stayed down for quite a while before getting up under help from the trainer. Fortunately for him and the rest of us, Gleason didn't have another shift in the game or else the hockey gods may have finished the job.

Videotaped murder aside, the game went as most Leafs game go. Get outshot and out played. Win behind great goaltending and skilled forward play. The Lightning threw 42 shots at Jonathan Bernier (and hit at least half a dozen posts) with him turning aside 40. Despite the game being close for all but 3:26, the Leafs only managed 26 shots on net despite 6 minutes on the PP in the 1st period.

Game in 6

Scoring opened in the second with Nazem Kadri gathering a loose puck on the other side of center ice, stepping into the zone, and letting a nasty snap shot go beating Bishop high on the short side.

Somewhere in Vegas, a roulette wheel has landed on "00" 37 times in a row and a woman from Bakersfield, CA has squandered all of his kid's college fund.

Later in the second, Kadri took a great dish from a forechecking Lupl , toe dragged around Viktor Hedman at full speed, and went to the backhand beating Bishop on the glove side on one of the most beautiful high speed dekes of the NHL season.

In Duluth, MN a man of 83 dies in his sleep having lived a life where he never got a Yahtzee despite having played the game nearly every day of his life.

Shortly thereafter, Matt Carle scored his second of the season after the Leafs fail yet again to complete a simple breakout.

A toaster rolls off the Cuisinart assembly line that will never burn a single piece of toast.

Before the second period came to an end, Mark Barbeiro put home a rebound after a net front scramble to tie the game up.

In Montpelier, VT a 1978 AMC Pacer ticks over 1,000,000 miles on the odometer.

Late in the third, just when it was looking like the Leafs were playing for the tie, Tyler "Cocoon" Bozak won a puck battle on the forecheck and got the puck to Kessel, who paused and then dished to a trailing JVR who put home an in-and-out goal that was initially called no good because referees are blind and stupid.

In a Dungeons and Dragons game, someone's lvl 21 Ranger dies on the first turn of the night to a lvl 1 Kobold Miner after rolling 1 on a D20 17 times in a row.

Three Stars of the Game

***Nazem Kadri

**Jonathan Bernier

*Tim Gleason's Pain Tolerance