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[Thursday FTB] - What's this season's tanking rhyme?

The Leafs head to Glendale return to the ACC after another loss.

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Hey Andy, do I have better abs than Mike Richards?
Hey Andy, do I have better abs than Mike Richards?
Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

The Leafs lost in a shootout last night, which is weird because when did the Devils start winning shootouts?

There is surprisingly little good coverage of last night's game. Seigel wrote about how David Clarkson has a bad contract - not exactly earth-shattering information. The G&M went with an AP blurb I won't bother linking - you're slipping, Mirtle! Sportsnet has an auto-play video in their story and auto-play equals auto-nope. The Star wrote about how despite getting a point, last night's game felt like a loss. Uh, maybe because it was a loss?

The Star also asks if today's NHLer is coddled. They think "it sure looks that way". As evidence, they point out how players are now asking coaches questions. The nerve! Players now sometimes even propose alternative ideas.Outrageous!

Good coaches like Randy Carlyle are being fired because players won't just turn themselves into the 2006 Ducks. Old man Joe Nieuwendyk blames these new fangled "smartphone" thingies where players get "information" (seriously). Some random psychologist says it's because they get too many trophies in school and don't understand they aren't special!

Remember back in the good old days when hockey players just did whatever they were told! And have you noticed that you can't even just get a regular cup of coffee anymore? It's always this weird eye-talian named stuff. And who can figure out shoe sizes anymore! oldmanyellsatcloud.jpg.

Help wanted: Pension Plan Puppets is seeking a site manager
Only job requirement is that you're an alcoholic and you believe in James Reimer

Rogers wins TV rights to 2016 World Cup of Hockey
TSN believes it took another shot to the chin from the NHL after failing to win the broadcast rights to the 2016 World Cup of Hockey.

Sabres GM: NHL trade market 'very, very quiet'
Maybe you just don't have players that anyone would want, Tim. The trade deadline is March 3rd.

A good reminder about how specific language is used to deny things are being considered until they actually happen. Two days ago the AHL president denied the league has "approved a western move". Today, they are announcing five teams are moving to California. adding Corsi, Fenwick, enhanced stats next month
From Yahoo Sports: Collins confirmed that is adding "enhanced stats" to its collection of player and team statistics. (thanks to The Constant Gardiner for noting this link)

Seahawks’ Marshawn Lynch Talks Way More Than European Soccer Players
The extent of Seattle Seahawks’ running back Marshawn Lynch’s interaction with reporters this week was a nearly 5-minute rendition of a single quote. But that is a lot more than you’ll get from a player in the English Premier League, or Phil Kessel!

I'll look for more links, but wow is it sparse today. Maybe everyone's been diverted to cover the Super Bowl? In any case amuse yourself with this: five San Francisco residents called 911 when Facebook went down for an hour. One woman even called twice and told the operator she was rude for not helping.