AUSTON MATTHEWS !

AUSTONMANIA JUST HIT YA WITH A STONE COLD STUNNER SON

EAT IT REST OF CANADA

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

Okay; now that I've got that out of my system...

The Leafs have done the unthinkable and won the 1st overall pick. Now, you might say to me that the Leafs technically had the best probability of drafting 1st overall. You would be technically correct, which is the best kind of correct. But what this overlooks is that this is Toronto, the place where nothing good is EVER supposed to happen. Where nothing goes right. Christ on a cracker, we came ONE PING PONG BALL from Connor McDavid last year! ONE!

This year, however; this year was different. And our reward for... well, sucking I guess... is Auston Matthews. The Arizona-born phenom put up 48 points in 24 games with the USNTDP in his D-1 year in 2014-15. He then decided to run train over the Swiss, putting up 46 points in 36 games with the ZSC Lions of Zurich. His election to play in the Swiss League as opposed to Canadian major junior means he's AHL eligible, but I get the feeling we won't need to worry about that. This is a player who could make the Leafs roster as an 18-year old; no doubt about it.

This will be the Leafs 1st overall pick since 1985, when they selected some defenseman from Saskatchewan. You probably haven't heard of him. Some guy named Wendel Clark who would only become our captain and a face of the revival of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the 1990s, until he was traded for a guy who would also become the face of our franchise for another successful era.

You can read our staff's thoughts on Auston Matthews here. Drooling is perfectly acceptable, don't be embarrassed.

[breathes heavily into paper bag]

And now it's time to party hard. Cold ones, ENGAGE!

Your thoughts in two words?

AUSTON MATTHEWS1014
'MERICA349
I'M DRUNK504