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Anaheim Ducks re-hire Randy Carlyle, hilarity to ensue

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Heeeeeeeeeee's baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

It's Christmas in June for Anaheim!
It's Christmas in June for Anaheim!
Jeff Gross/Getty Images

Randy Carlyle has been hired as the head coach of the Anaheim Ducks.

Yes. You read that correctly, Biz Nasty. After his disastrous tenure with the Maple Leafs, Randy Carlyle has not only been named the head coach of another NHL team, inexplicably not the Blue Jackets, but also one from which he was previously fired.

Brian Burke was sad when when that happened.

A few weeks later he replaced Ron "not going anywhere" Wilson with his old buddy Randy Carlyle. Burke noted that Carlyle was a "proven winner," referring to that time when Carlyle "coached" the Ducks to win the Stanley Cup. That is a great achievement, isn't it?

It is if you view NHL coaching through the myopic "Cup wins = greatness" lens. This is, unfortunately, how the NHL old boys club works: if you win something one time you get to hang out in the spare coach pool for as long as you still want to work. This is why coaches like Carlyle who won something one time 10 years ago are recycled by team after team. It doesn't matter how spectacularly they continue to fail, they are forever "proven winners."

Carlyle's Ducks roster was stacked with some of the best talent in the NHL, including many future Hall of Fame players. Teemu Selanne was there in his prime, scoring 48 regular goals and earning 94 points in that regular season. On defence he had Scott Niedermayer and Chris Pronger who went on to be first-ballot Hall of Fame inductees. Then there was a whole cast of future All-Stars like Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf.

What did other NHL General Managers learn from this? Randy Carlyle was the reason for their success. He had  "tight systems," which is a myth we busted. I do admit there was a possibility he had great systems, but wasn't able to explain them with the white board.

As the seasons rolled on, and that success didn't continue, it was somehow considered to be the players fault, which brewed a little bit of animosity.

Hilariously, Carlyle now inherits a roster that still has some of those same players who hate him.

What the hell does that even mean? Oh, right. It's Pierre "I was also a failure as a coach" McGuire so there's no expectation of it making any sense.

On the plus side, as Leafs fans, we now get to enjoy him causing a total meltdown of some other team. And for those two games per season the Leafs play the Ducks, we get to bust out all our favourite Randy Carlyle moments!

What is your favourite? Vote in our poll!

Hey Randy, if you're soliciting suggestions for ways the Ducks could add grart, I know a free agent who needs a contract!