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GameThread: Toronto Maple Leafs at San Jose Sharks

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The arrival of Baron Von Boyle is nigh!

The Baron just spotted his next victim
The Baron just spotted his next victim
Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

Toronto Maple Leafs @ San Jose Sharks
10:30 EST
The Shark Tank
TV: Sportsnet

The other guys: Fear The Fin

If you like good Twitter follows, I recommend @HockeyBabbler. She's a Sharks fan who doodles her thoughts while watching games and they are fantastic. Here's a sample.

But now, we turn to the big news of the night. The arrival of.... THE BARON!

[Scene: Lou Lamoirello and Doug Wilson are having lunch together at Le Papillon in San Jose]

WILSON: So I haven't been paying much attention to the East lately, how's your lot doing?

LOU: Well enough, Wilsy. Our kids are doing great and we finally shored up our fourth line with a trade.

WILSON: Oh? Who'd you get?

LOU: That fine young man from Tampa.

WILSON: Boyle? I never really saw much in him to be honest.

LOU: Your team is in deep trouble. The guy is a perfect killing machine. They say that nobody who has seen his face has made it out alive... Even those lucky enough to escape'll be tracked down to the ends of the world and they always wind up dead. They say he appears with a smile, and he leaves with a smile... Yeah, he is the mysterious assassin known as Baron Von Boyle... Tongpu.

WILSON: .... what are you talking about, Lou?

LOU: [Fiddles with his phone, plays a recording and holds it up for Wilson to hear better]

RECORDING: St Sebastian's ISSP Assassination Ability Improvement Experiment. Experiment sample chart number 46. Codename: The Baron. Confirmed a strong regression of the mind during the experiment. Experiment was canceled. Sample to be permanently kept in a quarantine facility.


WILSON: [Looks shaken]


LOU: In the beginning, he escaped from the facilities to seek revenge but now he seems to be enjoying the actual act of killing. His mind must be continuing to regress... So he's like a child with superhuman fighting abilities. Really... There is nothing as pure and cruel as children...


[Wilson sees a towering shadow move up behind Lou, standing at his shoulder and down at him]


[The Baron greets Wilson with a cackle and tip of his hat]


THE BARON: It's show time!


Go Leafs Go!

Poll

What Did You Have For Dinner Today?

This poll is closed

  • 8%
    Pancakes, it's Pancake Day after all!
    (4 votes)
  • 54%
    I didn't have pancakes because I am a godless sinner beyond redemption
    (27 votes)
  • 10%
    I did have pancakes but I'm still a godless sinner beyond redemption
    (5 votes)
  • 28%
    THE MAIMED AND BLOODY SOULS OF THOSE WHO IMPRISONED ME (aka: I'm Baron Boyle)
    (14 votes)
50 votes total Vote Now