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Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!
CROSBY: Let’s get this over with. Opening face-off positions.
Murray, did you find the goalie net?
MURRAY: Right where I left it, Sid.
CROSBY: Stand by.
Hags, get me the NHL Officials
HAGELIN: Officials are reading, sir
CROSBY: NHL, this is the Penguins, we are ready to start the game.
REFEREE: This is the Head Referee, permission to start the game granted. Thirty seconds for puck drop.
SHEARY: Clear all zambonis.
CROSBY: Waiting Zamboni doors to close from this mark.
P.A.: “All zambonis clear.”
SHEARY: Defensive play mode enabled.
CROSBY: Thank you, lieutenant; aggressive offensive attack.
SHEARY: Captain, may I remind you our play book specifies defensive play only in a game seven.
HAGELIN: shakes head
MALKIN: clears throat loudly
KESSEL: Sid?
CROSBY: (smiles) You heard the game plan, Sheary.
SHEARY: (embarrased) Aye, sir.
The Senators simply don’t deserve to win this. Their hockey is so bad their fans don’t even show up to the playoff games. I hat the Senators more than I hat the nu formak!
8:00 PM EDT
Senators vs. Penguins on CBC
ICYMI
Poll
Do you love our nu formak?
This poll is closed
-
9%
I love the nu formak!
-
25%
I hat the nu formak.
-
25%
I hat the nu formak. And I hat olives.
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39%
I don’t know what formak means. I am slowly going to back out of this room hoping you PPP weirdos don’t notice and follow me.
Why I’m a fan of the Leafs: PPP staff tell all
You can tell us your story in the comments.
Why I’m a fan of junior hockey - ElSeldo
This is probably the only good thing Eugene Melnyk has done hockey wise.
Are the Leafs changing their prospecting tactics? - Katya
Last year, the only plan was more is better; this year, it seems like there is a more careful selection process.
The Potential Steal of the 2017 NHL Draft: Eeli Tolvanen - Kevin Papetti
This Finnish forward should boast one of the NHL’s best shots one day.
Poll
Will the Prince of Wales trophy be picked up tonight?
This poll is closed
-
40%
Yes. Crosby will raise it because he’s way past giving a fuck about that superstition.
-
51%
No. Robo-Crosby’s brain will be too preoccupied already running millions of game play scenarios per second against the Predators to remember to do that.
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3%
Yes. Erik Karlsson will do it because he knows that’s the only trophy he will ever lift on the ice.
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3%
No. Erik Karlsson won’t lift it because he would have rather lifted the World Championship trophy than one foreshadowing his team will be swept in the Stanley Cup Final.
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