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PPP After Dark: Ottawa Senators vs. Pittsburgh Penguins in the Conference Final to end all Conference Finals

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It’s the one time of the year it’s OK to cheer for Crosby to win.

Pittsburgh Penguins v Carolina Hurricanes, Game Four Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!

CROSBY: Let’s get this over with. Opening face-off positions.
Murray, did you find the goalie net?
MURRAY: Right where I left it, Sid.
CROSBY: Stand by.
Hags, get me the NHL Officials
HAGELIN: Officials are reading, sir
CROSBY: NHL, this is the Penguins, we are ready to start the game.
REFEREE: This is the Head Referee, permission to start the game granted. Thirty seconds for puck drop.
SHEARY: Clear all zambonis.
CROSBY: Waiting Zamboni doors to close from this mark.
P.A.: “All zambonis clear.”
SHEARY: Defensive play mode enabled.
CROSBY: Thank you, lieutenant; aggressive offensive attack.
SHEARY: Captain, may I remind you our play book specifies defensive play only in a game seven.
HAGELIN: shakes head
MALKIN: clears throat loudly
KESSEL: Sid?
CROSBY: (smiles) You heard the game plan, Sheary.
SHEARY: (embarrased) Aye, sir.

The Senators simply don’t deserve to win this. Their hockey is so bad their fans don’t even show up to the playoff games. I hat the Senators more than I hat the nu formak!

8:00 PM EDT
Senators vs. Penguins on CBC

ICYMI

Poll

Do you love our nu formak?

This poll is closed

  • 9%
    I love the nu formak!
    (4 votes)
  • 25%
    I hat the nu formak.
    (11 votes)
  • 25%
    I hat the nu formak. And I hat olives.
    (11 votes)
  • 39%
    I don’t know what formak means. I am slowly going to back out of this room hoping you PPP weirdos don’t notice and follow me.
    (17 votes)
43 votes total Vote Now

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The Potential Steal of the 2017 NHL Draft: Eeli Tolvanen - Kevin Papetti
This Finnish forward should boast one of the NHL’s best shots one day.

Poll

Will the Prince of Wales trophy be picked up tonight?

This poll is closed

  • 40%
    Yes. Crosby will raise it because he’s way past giving a fuck about that superstition.
    (11 votes)
  • 51%
    No. Robo-Crosby’s brain will be too preoccupied already running millions of game play scenarios per second against the Predators to remember to do that.
    (14 votes)
  • 3%
    Yes. Erik Karlsson will do it because he knows that’s the only trophy he will ever lift on the ice.
    (1 vote)
  • 3%
    No. Erik Karlsson won’t lift it because he would have rather lifted the World Championship trophy than one foreshadowing his team will be swept in the Stanley Cup Final.
    (1 vote)
27 votes total Vote Now