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# Carlton the Bear Welcomes You to Philthy Phil's Place!
- URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/carlton-the-bear-welcomes-you-to/
- Published: 2009-09-24T08:00:54.000Z
- Updated: 2009-09-24T08:00:54.000Z
- Author: VoxMediaUser138634
- Tags: From The Branches, #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 10:50

![Leafspimp_medium](http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_assets/258107/leafspimp_medium.gif)

*Carlton the Bear has 99 problems, but [Phil Kessel](http://www.sbnation.com/nhl/players/54905/Phil%5FKessel?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) ain't one.*

Whazzup gangstas? C to da B here, an me an muh ho's can't not wait ta gots Phunky Phresh Phil Kessel out on da ice, scoring go's fo da Leafs and making skrilla fo hiz self.

Lots o peeps been frontin sayin dey no whut went down. Imma here ta tell youz da troof. When BB came ta me an sed "C-Mack" cuz we tight like dat, he sed "C-Mack, I'm in a funk. I need me sum more goalz" an I sayz "Burkie baby, Phunky Phresh is ripe fo tha pickin" an he sed "word"

Voila, Philthy Phil, the Phunky Phresh Kessel iz a Leaf. What chew trippin foo?

Indeed. Philthy Phil has got friends all over. Seems like the Leafs pulled out all the stops to get him if Carlton was involved. Since Carlton is from the streets, let's see how gangsta fresh we can keep these links yo'

- TOV be keeping it real, [droppin da 411](http://theothervatican.blogspot.com/2009/09/dispelling-myths-with-phil-kessel.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) on Phunky Phil.
- j-dub [makes pimping look easy](http://heroesinrehab.ca/blog/2009/09/23/psssst-wanna-buy-a-stick/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) wif Heroes in Rehab's latest beatz.
- Da MLHS crew notes [da lack of baller status an a whole lotta badonkadonk](http://mapleleafshotstove.com/index.php/2009/09/23/leafs-sabres-post-game-comeback-kids-fall-short/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) in Buffalo last nite.
- Over at da Good Point, dey go big tymer status on [the total ballin-outta-control](http://www.thegoodpoint.com/hockey/sep09/the-new-found-chutzpah-of-brian-burke.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) dat is BB.
- Real GM keepin it real fo sho, no booty cheddar, [givin us da steez of BB](http://www.realgmhockey.com/src%5Fshiftchange/22/20090923/burke%5Fhas%5Fbrought%5Fswagger%5Fto%5Fleafs/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com).
- Die by the Blade, [hypin up da vibe of Buffal-izzle last night](http://www.diebytheblade.com/2009/9/23/1052519/sabres-score-three-in-second-hang?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)./

Drop any bomb links I missed in da thread. Word (Man, even typing that I sound straight up honky cracka.)

**Late to da partee**

- TrucuLeafs [getz active wit da sked](http://truculeafs.blogspot.com/2009/09/toronto-maple-leafs-2009-10-season.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) and sez da Buds beat North Kackalacky fo numba 8.
- My homey, da straight gangsta mf37 [sez chill da crunk, we gotz to be eazy](http://bitterleaf.blogspot.com/2009/09/pre-season-fever-avoid-it.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)./