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From the Branches: Now turn your head and cough

Maple Leafs training Camp opens today with physicals and medical testing, and some media chats.

Dave Sandford/Getty Images

Ah training camp. Where we see the Leafs bring in enough players to form their own league then crush enough dreams to fill an NHL roster. Finally, we're inching our way closer to hackey being played. First exhibition game is Tuesday!

Leafs inviting every hockey player on Earth to Training Camp | The LeafsNation
Even I got an invitation.

Dion Phaneuf of Toronto Maple Leafs wants to be 'part of the solution' - NHL.com
Somehow this made Final Countdown get stuck in my head.

2015 Sabres Top 25 Under 25: #1 Jack Eichel - Die By The Blade
Duh.

Dealing with the Darkest Timeline of the 2015-16 Dallas Stars - Defending Big D
Seguin loses an arm, Spezza eats a flaming troll, and Benn just Britta's everything.

Down Goes Brown: It made sense at the time: A brief history of jerseying
Proudest day as a father was when one kid jerseyed the other...

Sharks see drop in season ticket renewals - Fear The Fin
Sucking and having an ass backwards will do that to you.
In a non-Toronto market...

Brampton Beast make history with international game vs India - Eyes On The Prize
Weird how EOTP also has a writer named Ben Smi- wait a minute...

P.K. Subban donates $10M to the Montreal Children's Hospital Foundation - Eyes On The Prize
I HATE YOU PK! STOP LOVING MONTREAL SO MUCH! COME HERE!

The 2015-16 New Jersey Devils Season Ticket Membership Box - All About The Jersey
What's inside? It could be anything? Even a boat!

Brock Nelson Signs 3-Year Contract with New York Islanders - Lighthouse Hockey
Squeaks in at the last second.

Clayton Stoner facing five charges for killing grizzly bear | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports
Maybe he just wasn't in the right state of mind at the time?

As Voynov leaves, LA Kings remain tone deaf on domestic violence | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports
Seriously Kings you are just a terrible awful franchise, you should be twitter bros with Chicago not Columbus.

Video: Steven Stamkos is a highly accurate, anti-drone sniper - Raw Charge
something something something Toronto

Could a NHL game on Parliament Hill actually fit? - Silver Seven
This is a stupid idea and 2017 IS OUR YEAR SENATORS BACK OFF. YOU'RE BARELY 30 YEARS OLD!

Enjoy your day! I'm going home.