It’s the weekend. It will, once again, be hotter than Kyle Dubas’ phone battery.
Speaking of hot, the many Leafs players are, uh, enjoying themselves this summer and we have the pictures to prove it. IT’S A TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS SWIMSUIT CONTEST!!!
Travis Dermott, the up and comer on the team, got the contest off in style. Well... A style, or at least an ATTEMPT at a style. He gets points for the confidence in showing off his, uh, assets, and for the rubber ducky pattern. He loses it for the cornrows, though Katya might revoke my masthead membership for saying that. SHE CAN WRITE HER OWN OPINION PIECE! I give this a 6.5/10.
The favourite going into this contest had to be one William J Nylander, and he made a huge splash with this bathrobe reveal. He’s got the abs, he’s got some surprisingly impressive facial hair, and he’s got the... assets. His final rating receded as much as his hairline though, I give it an 8/10
BREAKING NEWS: William Nylander wants me dead, for more on this story please tune in @ 6pm EDT pic.twitter.com/M49bzWFBlb— peri (@peritalkshockey) July 5, 2018
Next is the Leafs’ wonder kid, Auston J Matthews. He’s got the lion sleeve tattoo taking up his entire arm. He’s got the bandanna, he’s got at least 8 abs, but the bathing suit leaves us wanting more. 7.5/10.
Next up we have Mitchell J Ma-
...oh, Mitchy... no...
Moving on quickly to [BEAMS OF RADIANT LIGHT SHINE FROM THE CHISELED ABS OF A GOLDEN SWEDISH GOD]
Oh, hi Mr Borgman. Didn’t see you there. I’ll give you a rating equal to the number of abs you seem to have, which I’m pretty sure makes it 12/10 and Borgman our winner of the inaugural PPP Big Dick Energy Swimsuit Competition.
Honourary mention goes to Jake Gardiner for this adorable picture of his wedding where he does the most Jake Gardiner-y thing of all time. It’s disqualified for not being in a swimsuit, which WOULD have made the wedding a lot more interesting if you ask me.
Speaking of Swedes, Erik Karlsson has been traded approximately 42 times, only not at all. I’m torn between enjoying seeing the Leafs and Lightning leaving Boston in the dust (or so I tell myself) and being terrified at facing a Hedman-Karlsson pairing. They apparently need another team to help the Lightning clear cap space, and the Sens to get rid of Ryan’s contract.
I’m just waiting to spot Dubas hiding in the bushes, ready to pounce by somehow winding up with Karlsson, all the good prospects, and none of the bad contracts.
ONTO THE LINKS!
Maple Leafs Sign Tyler Ennis for One Year, $650,000 | by Fulemin
Updated depth chart, cap space and SPC count | by Katya
Maple Leafs trade target: Jared Spurgeon | by Omar
Have a great weekend everyone!
Which Maple Leaf player wins YOUR Swimsuit Competition?
This poll is closed