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# I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION
- URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/i-fart-in-your-general-direction/
- Published: 2012-05-29T10:00:39.000Z
- Updated: 2012-05-29T10:00:39.000Z
- Author: J.P. Nikota
- Tags: From The Branches, #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 10:50

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

Now go read my article over at [The Leafs Nation about advanced statistics](http://theleafsnation.com/2012/5/28/the-thing-about-advanced-stats?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com), or I shall have to taunt you a second time.

If Gimp was a half-decent program, you would all have been treated to a .gif of Greg McKegg's face actually taunting you, but this will have to do for now.

Plenty of more fun over the jump, as per usual.

[Banged up Marlies Prepare for Calder Cup](http://kylethereporter.com/2012/05/28/2012-calder-cup-banged-up-marlies-prepare-for-calder-cup/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
Kyle The Reporter has the story.

[The Flexible Elephant: On the Surprising Mobility of Bloated Contracts](http://blogs.thescore.com/nhl/2012/05/28/the-flexible-elephant/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
Ellen Etchingham isn't the first to point out that long-term contracts aren't so impossible to move, but she's awesome, so I'm linking this anyway.

[Martin Brodeur: A little above average for a very long time](http://blogs.thescore.com/nhl/2012/05/28/martin-brodeur-a-little-above-average-for-a-very-long-time/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
Cam Charron is here to tell you to walk off your chubby for ol' Marty.

[Meet Your Conn Smythe Candidates](http://www.dirtydangle.com/2012/05/meet-your-conn-smythe-candidates.html?utm%5Fsource=feedburner&utm%5Fmedium=feed&utm%5Fcampaign=Feed%3A+DirtyDangle+%28Dirty+Dangle%29&utm%5Fcontent=Google+Reader)  
Dirty Dangle has a list.

[Are the Los Angeles Kings the best eighth seed ever?](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/globe-on-hockey/are-the-los-angeles-kings-the-best-eighth-seed-ever/article2445646/?utm%5Fmedium=Feeds%3A%20RSS%2FAtom&utm%5Fsource=Hockey&utm%5Fcontent=2445646)  
James Mirtle points out that this L.A. group has a pretty good goal differential, given their place in the standings.

[Updates And A Rapid Fire Mailbag](http://marlieshq.com/2012/05/28/updates-and-a-rapid-fire-mailbag/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
Jeffler answers a couple questions from his Twitter feed.

[The Latest Tamp-tation of Brian Burke](http://theleafsnation.com/2012/5/28/the-latest-tamp-tation-of-brian-burke?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
At The Leafs Nation, Danny Gray takes a look at the Justin Schultz situation.

[Remembering what it was like when the Leafs were getting ready to play in the Cup finals](http://vintageleafmemories.blogspot.ca/2012/05/remembering-what-it-was-like-when-leafs.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)  
I can't really imagine what that's like, but Michael Langlois at Vintage Leaf Memories can actually give you a first-hand account.