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# Kovalchuk Retirement Hits NHL like a Sharknado
- URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/kovalchuk-retirement-hits-nhl-like-a-sharknado/
- Published: 2013-07-12T10:00:06.000Z
- Updated: 2013-07-12T10:00:06.000Z
- Author: Colin Odneal
- Tags: From The Branches, #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 10:50

In case you were living under a rock last night, you missed out on two amazing things. First, [Ilya Kovalchuk](http://www.sbnation.com/nhl/players/55442/ilya-kovalchuk?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) "retired" from the NHL just 3 years into his lockout causing contract so he could go back to [Ru$$ia](http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/ilya-kovalchuk-join-ska-could-earn-20-million-210237775.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) to be [with his family](http://www.kommersant.com/photo/512/News/2008/10/10//KMO%5F094553%5F00016%5F1m.jpg?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com). [If you look at the cap recapture penalties](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlBZxpXinYkCdHRudExfYm41Tkd5WmJuLUxwRF9LUlE&ref=pensionplanpuppets.com#gid=0) that Kovalchuk would have brought down upon the [Devils](http://www.sbnation.com/nhl/teams/new-jersey-devils?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)' head had he chosen to "retire" later, it's pretty clear that this decision was as much Lou Lamoriello's as it was Kovalchuk's. Because of this, [you will never see a Russian player selected in the Top 5 of the Draft for at least a decade](http://www.sportingnews.com/nhl/story/2013-07-11/ilya-kovalchuk-khl-contract-retirement-csa-st-petersburg-russian-players-nj-devi?utm%5Fsource=dlvr.it&utm%5Fmedium=twitter&utm%5Fcampaign=jessespector). Great job Ilya!

Second, and most important, the phenomenon that was Sharknado was unleashed upon the world. In a word, it was awesome.

[![Sharknado-gif_medium](http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1704945/sharknado-gif_medium.gif)](http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported%5Fassets/1704945/sharknado-gif.gif?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

via [blog.chron.com](http://blog.chron.com/tubular/files/2013/07/sharknado-gif.gif?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Yeah dude. Shark tornado. Sharknado.

**Here are your Sharknado approved links.**

[Gunnarsson Joins Fraser in Salary Arbitration](http://theleafsnation.com/2013/7/11/carl-gunnarsson-joins-mark-fraser-in-electing-salary-arbitration?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Just lovely.

[Wendel Clark and David Clarkson](http://mapleleafshotstove.com/video/wendel-clark-and-david-clarkson/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Not even close.

[Nazem Kadri Led the League in at Least One Important Stat](http://blogs.thescore.com/nhl/2013/07/11/nazem-kadri-led-the-league-in-this-statistic-in-2013/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Drawing penalties like a boss.

[Who'll Be the Next Eight NHL Captains](http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/%5F/id/68251/who-will-be-the-next-captain-for-ottawa-and-dallas-and-tampa-bay-and-columbus-and-edmonton-and-new-york-and-buffalo-and-calgary?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Lots of teams in need of "leadership".

[Leafs's Prospect Camp Day 3 Notes](http://mapleleafshotstove.com/2013/07/11/leafs-prospect-camp-notes-day-3/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Biggs finally does well against people younger than him.

[Leafs Sign Joe Colborne](http://theleafsnation.com/2013/7/11/leafs-sign-joe-colborne?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Poor guy.

[Creep Young Sedins Want to Sex You Up](http://www.barrymelroserocks.com/2013/july/the-creepy-young-sedins-would-like-to-sex-you-up.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

I'd let them if I were you.