> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# PPP After Dark: Ottawa  Senators vs. Pittsburgh Penguins in the Conference Final to end all Conference Finals
- URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/ottawa-senators-vs-pittsburgh-penguins-nhl-conference-final-one-of-them-will-not-survive/
- Published: 2017-05-25T22:10:52.000Z
- Updated: 2017-05-25T22:10:52.000Z
- Description: It’s the one time of the year it’s OK to cheer for Crosby to win.
- Author: Species
- Tags: #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 10:50

### Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!

CROSBY: Let’s get this over with. Opening face-off positions.  
Murray, did you find the goalie net?  
MURRAY: Right where I left it, Sid.  
CROSBY: Stand by.  
Hags, get me the NHL Officials  
HAGELIN: Officials are reading, sir  
CROSBY: NHL, this is the Penguins, we are ready to start the game.  
REFEREE: This is the Head Referee, permission to start the game granted. Thirty seconds for puck drop.  
SHEARY: Clear all zambonis.  
CROSBY: Waiting Zamboni doors to close from this mark.  
*P.A.: “All zambonis clear.”*  
SHEARY: Defensive play mode enabled.  
CROSBY: Thank you, lieutenant; aggressive offensive attack.  
SHEARY: Captain, may I remind you our play book specifies defensive play only in a game seven.  
*HAGELIN: shakes head*  
*MALKIN: clears throat loudly*  
KESSEL: Sid?  
CROSBY*: (smiles)* You heard the game plan, Sheary.  
SHEARY: *(embarrased)* Aye, sir.

The Senators simply don’t deserve to win this. Their hockey is so bad their fans don’t even show up to the playoff games. I hat the Senators more than I hat the nu formak!

8:00 PM EDT  
Senators vs. Penguins on CBC

### ICYMI

### Do you love our nu formak?

| I love the nu formak!                                                                                                         | 4  |
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -- |
| I hat the nu formak.                                                                                                          | 11 |
| I hat the nu formak. And I hat olives.                                                                                        | 11 |
| I don’t know what formak means. I am slowly going to back out of this room hoping you PPP weirdos don’t notice and follow me. | 17 |

[Why I’m a fan of the Leafs: PPP staff tell all](https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/why-im-a-fan-of-the-toronto-maple-leafs-ppp-staff-tell-all/)  
You can tell us your story in the comments.

[Why I’m a fan of junior hockey - ElSeldo](https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/why-im-a-fan-of-junior-hockey-niagara-icedogs-memorial-cup-ohl-whl-qmjhl-gojhl-st-catharines-falcons/)  
This is probably the only good thing Eugene Melnyk has done hockey wise.

[Are the Leafs changing their prospecting tactics? - Katya](https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/are-the-toronto-maple-leafs-changing-their-prospecting-tactics-2017-nhl-draft-marlies/)  
Last year, the only plan was more is better; this year, it seems like there is a more careful selection process.

[The Potential Steal of the 2017 NHL Draft: Eeli Tolvanen - Kevin Papetti](https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/toronto-maple-leafs-nhl-draft-2017-eeli-tolvanen-potential-steal-finnish-forward-best-shot/)  
This Finnish forward should boast one of the NHL’s best shots one day.

### Will the Prince of Wales trophy be picked up tonight?

| Yes. Crosby will raise it because he’s way past giving a fuck about that superstition.                                                                                    | 11 |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -- |
| No. Robo-Crosby’s brain will be too preoccupied already running millions of game play scenarios per second against the Predators to remember to do that.                  | 14 |
| Yes. Erik Karlsson will do it because he knows that’s the only trophy he will ever lift on the ice.                                                                       | 1  |
| No. Erik Karlsson won’t lift it because he would have rather lifted the World Championship trophy than one foreshadowing his team will be swept in the Stanley Cup Final. | 1  |