Are you sick of your wallet constantly breaking because it’s stuffed too full? Is your credit limit into 10 digits because your bank knows you’re good for it? Do you just have too much dang money?
Well fear no more friends, because seldo is here to help you get ready for the hockey season, and money is no object.
We all like a Cold One™ with our hockey games, but how do we release the delicious nectar from it’s glass enclosure while at the same time letting our friends know we’re better fans than they are? Well you’re in luck pal, because here is what you need:
That’s right, it’s a bottle opener made out of a game used puck! For only $125!
Prove you are the #1 Toronto Maple Leafs fan with this Game-Used Puck bottle opener from Tokens & Icons! The printed Toronto Maple Leafs graphics on this authentic game-used puck make it the perfect piece for showing your team spirit.
So sip your suds like a king, and scoff those who are going without their precious beers.
Who’s the best mascot in hockey? That’s right it’s Carlton the Bear! If you’re lonely enough, or are a plushie, you can hang this mounted plaque of our fuzzy buddy next to you so you can watch the game with Carlton himself, all for only $30
Do you have pictures that need framing? Check this out:
For $180 this picture frame can be yours! No, an autographed picture is not included, it’s $180 for the frame. Or, you can head down to Wal-Mart and pick one up and some blue construction paper.
With all the cash you have tucked into that wallet, do you ever feel the need to just rub it in someones face a little more? I have the wallet for you. Yes, it’s black leather on the outside, but on the inside, where very few people will see it, the lining is made from a game used hockey sweater.
Yes, it’s $150, but how can you put a price knowing your money is resting comfortably in the sweater remnants of Brandon Prusts pre-season efforts.
Do you like the recently decommissioned Maple Leafs logo? All those points you could put someones eye out! Check out this “pop art”, and hang it on your wall.
There is no better way to celebrate your Toronto Maple Leafs than with this Pop Art Photo. By adding this piece to your collection you'll be letting the world know your team is #1!
No, this is a bigger travesty to art than Monuments Men.
Have you ever wanted to pretend you were Justin Bieber or a media member in a crowded dressing room? Place this baby on the floor of your car and you can yell at yourself for disrespecting the logo your entire drive.
*Cal Clutterbuck wetting his pants over this disgrace not included
This item is found under “tailgating”, because nothing screams “cufflinks” like getting hammered and suplexing friends through tables.
Only $60 and act fast! There are few left!
Yes, it’s a picture of the Stanley Cup, with a Leafs logo behind it. Never invite a Habs fan over if you own this and you want to stay friends with them. It’s $170 and on canvas, so you know it’s classy.
Is your Christmas tree too unbranded? Well here’s a random ornament they slapped a Leafs logo onto so you’ll buy it! It’s Santa, but in a rocket ship and on sale for $11
Prove you are the #1 Toronto Maple Leafs fan with this Santa Gets There Rocket ornament! Give your home the gift of some Toronto Maple Leafs team spirit this holiday season when you hang this on the tree! Constructed of blown glass for a great look, it features fun Toronto Maple Leafs graphics to spread a little extra cheer!
I love how everything needs to be covered with ©’s and ™’s no matter what.
Do you get cold feet, but want to make sure you can’t get up and move around? How about ONE GIANT SLIPPER?
Make sure all your little piggies are cozy and accounted for with this Toronto Maple Leafs foot pillow! It's perfect for those late nights watching your guys win the game on TV with its fluffy plush lining and the Toronto Maple Leafs logo embroidered on top.
For $20 you have warm feet and an excuse to not get up and grab anyone anything.
Do you want to walk like a champion? Then here are the “mini champions boots”:
Only $55 for weird looking boots that will probably fall apart the instant they get wet!
Are your trees just...trees? Do you want it to scare the shit out of you when you stumble by one late at night? Make your tree a monstrosity that cheers for the Leafs, for only $25!
There’s also a whole bunch of crap leftover from the 2014 Winter Classic, like this lawn gnome, on sale for $8!
Heading to an away game in Long Island? Wait dammit that joke doesn’t apply anymore. Here are some stupid leopard print sandals. $12.
Finally, if you want to keep your feet warm, you’re in luck! These “St. Paddy’s Day” socks are on sale for $6!
It’s not a expensive or dumb thing, and $6 isn’t a lot, but...if you’re going to do St. Patricks Day stuff..why not use the St. Patrick’s logo? Crazy, right?
That’s all I have for you for now. We’ll check in later in the season when the new logo is slapped on more goofy shit than even Krusty the Klown could think of.