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# Toronto Maple Leafs game recap: They lost. Don’t bother reading any farther.
- URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/toronto-maple-leafs-game-recap-they-lost-thats-it-heres-a-stat-for-you-7-goals-against/
- Published: 2017-03-15T02:46:31.000Z
- Updated: 2017-03-15T02:46:31.000Z
- Description: MAYBE DON’T SPEND ALL DAY FISHING BEFORE THE GAME, HUH?
- Author: Adam Selvig
- Tags: Game Coverage, #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 11:43

I had a whole thing planned to write this in the style of a fairy tale, I was having fun with it up until the 30 minute mark of the game. Then I didn’t want to finish because it was all a giant goddamn mess. So here’s what we’re going to do.

I’m going to show you clips of the game, you watch them, suffer again, because I don’t know why anyone would want to read a recap of this game. If you watched it you should know better, but if you didn’t well, I warned you in the headline.

Then I’ll grab some tweets and embed them in here, because I’m a lazy millennial\* and this is how writing works these days.

\*Or not, depends on who you ask. I mean I was able to buy a house and have a full time job with benefits, so I guess that may kick me out of the millennials club.

Here’s this piece of shit game.

---

Aleksander Barkov broke away from the group on a face off 18 seconds into the game and set the tone. He scored a goal, putting the puck past Frederik Andersen, knocking over Nazem Kadri, in the process.

Colton Sceviour scores after Nikita Zaitsev falls down.

Leo Komarov scores. Yay.

Jonathan Marchessault makes it 3-1.

Marchessault scored again.

Reilly Smith scored.

Nikita Soshnikov then scored, because maybe he didn’t catch a fish today so he was able to still play hockey I guess.

Jussi Jokinen scored, but I thought he retired.

Keith Yandle scored.

Then they stopped scoring and even pulled their goalie for like 10 minutes, but the Leafs still lost 7-2.

Here are some tweets, yes I’m lazy, whatever, I shoved my sidewalk 5 times today and my back hurts.

> Rielly: "We came out and didn't do our jobs very well."
> 
> — James Mirtle (@mirtle) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/mirtle/status/841839342544908288?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

No shit.

> Kadri: "It's definitely not acceptable. We're not proud of that performance."
> 
> — James Mirtle (@mirtle) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/mirtle/status/841838334871756801?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Thanks Kadri.

> Look, if making the playoffs were easy, the Oilers would have managed it by now.
> 
> — Phil (@AlsoNamedPhil) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/AlsoNamedPhil/status/841837013150056448?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Heh.

> Was gonna eat some playoff nachos but draft lottery nachos might be nice too
> 
> — jon (@YakovMironov) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/YakovMironov/status/841830548003819520?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

I like nachos.

> Annnnd video editing and done. Before the game is even finished. First time ever.
> 
> — Steve Dangle Glynn (@Steve\_Dangle) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/Steve%5FDangle/status/841836928903307265?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

This is going to be good.

> Matt Tkachuk called and asked if I was watching the Leafs game and I said no. He said don't bother. I said okay thanks for calling, Matt.
> 
> — Boring Sean Monahan (@boringmonahan) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/boringmonahan/status/841836781368614912?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

Matt gave some good advice, but he’s still a shitweasel.

> Here's the Leaderboard after R1 of The Greater Florida Open  
> Kadri -5  
> Bozak -4  
> Zaitsev -4  
> Komarov -3  
> Rielly -3  
> Marner -2  
> JVR -2[#TMLTalk](https://twitter.com/hashtag/TMLTalk?src=hash&ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) [pic.twitter.com/OpPrvU7B6d](https://t.co/OpPrvU7B6d?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)
> 
> — David Bastl (@DavidBastl) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/DavidBastl/status/841837346341421056?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

See, because they fucked around on the gold course today before the game.

> Wow. This game killed my laptop.[#TMLTalk](https://twitter.com/hashtag/TMLTalk?src=hash&ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) [pic.twitter.com/CczXzoXMqL](https://t.co/CczXzoXMqL?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)
> 
> — Adam (@ElSeldo) [March 15, 2017](https://twitter.com/ElSeldo/status/841834613567836165?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)

The next game is Thursday night in Tampa Bay.