> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # From the Branches: The Maple Leafs nicknames are terrible. - URL: https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/toronto-maple-leafs-player-nicknames-sportsnet-hyman-matthews-kadri-bozak-komarov-leivo-borgman/ - Published: 2017-10-04T09:00:02.000Z - Updated: 2017-10-04T09:00:02.000Z - Description: These should be the Leafs nicknames, seriously guys. - Author: Adam Selvig - Tags: From The Branches, #chorus, #Import 2023-04-05 11:01 Yesterday, [Sportsnet](http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/23-maple-leafs-dressing-room-nicknames/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) published an article going over the various nicknames in the Maple Leafs locker room. The end result was...mostly terrible. Look, I’m not expecting huge amounts of creativity here, but let’s have some fun. I had some fun, so here are the nicknames the Leafs should be going by. **Zach Hyman: Flower** I mean....come on, how is this not his nickname. **Patrick Marleau: Old Mar** **Matt Martin: Mid Mar** **Mitchell Marner: Young Mar** **Martin Marincin: Mar Mar** So many Mars, so little time. This is like a *Goldilocks and the 3 Bears* vibe here, and it’s pretty good. **Dominic Moore: Ping Pong** Moorsey is fine, but with his annual ping pong tournament how could it not come into play? **Eric Fehr: Him?** Someone on the Leafs has to be an *Arrested Development* fan, and no one embodies the spirit of Egg Anne more than Eric Fehr. **James van Riemsdyk: Chomper** I’m surprised his mother hasn’t read him the riot act over his improper mouth guard use. **Connor Brown: "-72"** When you’re drafted with a +/- almost in the -100’s, you should never live it down. **William Nylander: Floyd** It’s a bit of a work around, but he’s pretty, so we started with Pretty Boy, which was also the name of bank robber ‘Pretty Boy Floyd’, and so it just turned into Floyd. **Josh Leivo: Popcorn** The snack he hate must hate the most by now. **Auston Matthews: Papi** That’s his nickname at home. It was at least kind of creative. Why ruin it Maple Leafs? “Matty”. Feh. **Nazem Kadri: Lil' Shit** Look, sometimes you just have to call it as it is. When I sassed my drama teacher in high school he called me a ‘little shit’ and it stuck for a while. Seems like it’ll stick forever for Naz. **Leo Komarov: Uncle Leo** They got this one right. **Ron Hainsey: Tightey Whitey** Right? **Connor Carrick: Sam** Poor Connor. Someone thought he was the prospect called up on his first day with the team and he never corrected them. Now he’s Sam forever. **Nikita Zaitsev: Zed** The article says he’s called “Zee”, but this is Canada. Do it right. **Morgan Rielly: Captain** Just get used to it now. **Andreas Borgman: Locutus** This one is too much for me, I said “Picard” but who am I to argue with species on matters like this? **Frederik Andersen: Legos** Never step on him. **Curtis McElhinney: Temp** Sometimes the truth hurts... --- Those are what the nicknames should be. Now here are your links. Joffrey Lupul will be able to go on LTIR. via the [front page](https://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/toronto-maple-leafs-joffrey-lupul-to-go-on-ltir-report-timothy-liljegren/). [Maple Leafs Hot Stove](https://mapleleafshotstove.com/2017/10/02/lou-lamoriello-without-question-competitive-camp/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) transcribes a Lou presser. [Centre of Leafs Nation](https://centreofleafsnation.com/2017/10/03/game-one-maple-leafs-edition/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) looks at the upcoming year. Frank Seravalli thinks Matthews will score 50 goals. [via TSN.](http://www.tsn.ca/31-bold-predictions-for-the-nhl-season-1.874108?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) The Maple Leafs are adding four more players to Legends Row: > [#Leafs](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Leafs?src=hash&ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) to add Charlie Conacher, Red Kelly, Frank Mahovlich and Wendel Clark to legends row outside the the ACC on Thursday. > > — Dhiren Mahiban (@dcmahiban) [October 3, 2017](https://twitter.com/dcmahiban/status/915215948092715008?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) More players are getting through waivers and [Open Ice Hits](https://openicehits.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/are-waiver-claims-becoming-rfa-offer-sheets/?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) asks if they’ll go the way of the Offer Sheet. [Anaheim Calling](https://www.anaheimcalling.com/2017/10/3/16411494/pacific-division-preview-changing-of-the-guard?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) previews the Pacific Division Jack Eichel’s agent says he took *less money* to make the Buffalo Sabres competitive! via [Die By the Blade](https://www.diebytheblade.com/2017/10/3/16416258/breaking-jack-eichel-buffalo-sabres-extension-eight-years-deal-news-latest?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) [Down Goes Brown](http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2017/10/2017-18-season-preview-part-one-bottom.html?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) previews the worst of the league. The Vegas Golden Knights will donate $300k to shooting victims. via [Knights on Ice](https://www.knightsonice.com/2017/10/3/16416418/golden-knights-nhl-to-donate-300000-to-las-vegas-shooting-victims?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) Tom Wilson was suspended twice in the same pre-season! via [Lighthouse Hockey](https://www.lighthousehockey.com/2017/10/3/16390582/capitals-tom-wilson-suspension-player-safety?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) [Silver Seven Sens ](https://www.silversevensens.com/2017/10/3/16395482/temper-your-expectations-for-the-2017-18-ottawa-senators-nhl?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com)wants everyone to have low expectations for the Senators this season. Done. Have you been following the minor league hockey drama? I haven’t because good lord why would I go near anything that comes close to touching the GTHL? Anyway here;s a [CBC](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/minor-hockey-cross-ice-reprieve-jamie-strashin-1.4321391?ref=pensionplanpuppets.com) article on the half ice vs full ice nonsense that’s been going on. Enjoy your day everyone! There’s a real hockey game that matters tonight!