Good afternoon friends and it's a glorious one at that. The sun is shining, birds are singing, and our fundraising drive is picking up steam. Yesterday we were at $40 in phase II. After a couple of very generous donations we are sitting at $120 out of our new goal of $200. Remember, this cash is going towards messing with the Montreal Canadiens and ottawa senators franchise pages. If you want to contribute and are Canadian then the easiest way is to send me an e-mail money transfer to pensionplanpuppets@gmail.com. Otherwise, paypal to the same address works just as well. Finally, if neither option is possible drop me a line and we can figure something out. Also make sure to send me the link that you want to have on the page to which these sponsorships will be connected. Thanks to everyone that has taken part in this fun little exercise and let's keep it going!

MF37's contribution for the quotation on Daniel Alfredsson's page was the winner so now we have to move on to selecting what Mats' caption should be. Once again, toss your suggestions in the comments and give some feedback to the ones that you like.

Anyway, here are some links to read in case you are not out enjoying the sun:

• Wyshynski! looks at the Masterton award nominees and can't quite figure out how Chris Chelios is nominated alongside our own Jason Blake (willing to take one for the team) and Fernando Pisani which were two of the scarier stories from this past season.
  
  
• RudyKelly looks at an article about the difference between the NBA playoffs and the NHL playoffs. Basically it boils down to one is played by the hardest people on the planet and the other involves basketball.
  
  
• Kevin does not understand why Sabres fans would not want Balsillie to own them. That makes at least two of us. That guy is going to turn some team into a juggernaut. Sigh.
  
  
• Steve looks at The Omen's revisionist history. Although I am not too sure about Quenneville. Check out Mile High Hockey and see the unabashed glee at getting rid of Coach Q.

So we've had back-to-back big days. Wednesday had a hint of what was to come while Thursday unveiled Project Mayhem without the explosions and fights or the blood. Basically, our goal is to buy up rivals, give them funny captions, have them link to Leafs blogs, and then laugh at our rivals when they inevitably get worked up about it.

Things kicked off with the purcahse of this youngster's page:

Our nefarious plot then moved to secure the greatest Maple Leaf ever, Mats Sundin, to safe guard him from opposition fans. Chemmy then made the suggestion that made kicked this plot into high gear: grab Daniel Alfredsson. And we did. Through our fundraising efforts we have now paid for both sponsorships ($80) and we can kick off phase II and I can reveal the two secret targets:

The franchise pages for the Montreal Canadiens and the ottawa senators.

This is huge. This means that no matter what page people go to see whether it's their skater registry, season leaders, career leaders, or any page under the franchise page they will see whatever message we put up. The cost is $200 for the two pages and we already have commitments for $40 so we are just $160 short. Spread the word and help us reach our goal. Anyone that wants to donate can do so via Paypal or can e-mail me to arrange another way via e-mail. The sponshorship comes with a link which I am going to direct to a compilation of links sent in from each person that donates. You can have it link to your blog or to a charity or another page (within reason).

Sean has a roundup of Leafdom's assault and you'll get to see where CoxBloc's cash went. Mirtle is trying to compile the blogosphere's purchases.

So I'll open up the comments to suggestions for Mats and Alfredsson's caption. The limit for the caption is 255 characters so use as little or as much as you'd like. Try to start a new comment thread for each suggestion. If you like it reply to it and if you have a new one post a new comment. That way I can get an idea of which are the most popular and then we can have a run-off vote if needed. Also, Loser Domi needs some help coming up with a caption for Matt Stajan.

As always, here are some links to help pass the day:

• Chemmy follows this Hockey-Reference.com phenomenon to its hilarious ends. Possibly the funniest thing I've read in a long long time. For the record, I wasn't belittling, I was being facetious!
  
  
• MF37 has an amazing piece on hope and Maple Leaf fans and it doesn't end with the conclusion that there is none. Great way to start the day.
  
  
• Sean did it! A perfectly logical and optimistic post to end optimism week. I knew he had it in him.
  
  
• Steve joins MF37 in frustration about how the sports media in this city (and country) can cherry pick facts and their editors turn a blind eye. Remember when editors used to actually do work? Yeah, me neither.
  
  
• Greener and Moose have a podcast. I haven't listened to it yet but after reading that description I can't wait to go on living my life.
  
   
• Tim Wharnsby finally puts those Ken Holland rumours. Will anyone in the Toronto media listen? My guess is no.

Yesterday, I mentioned that, courtesy of Sean, Chemmy, and Mirtle inspiration had struck. Below are the initial fruits of that labour.

For at least the next year, anyone visiting that page will be reminded that the third coming of the rookie goalie saviour was all hat and no cattle. Anyone visiting Wayne Gretzky's page will get a Leafs related surprise. Yesterday I mentioned that I had a surprise (courtesy of Chemmy) in store for today along the lines of the Carey Price sponsorship and that is that Leaf fans own Daniel Alfredsson and Mats Sundin. This means that Leaf fans will decide what both pages will have as their tagline similar to Price's.

Now - this is the call to arms - I wanted to open this idea up to the entire Leaf community. There are numerous targets that we could acquire. Obviously, this takes some funds and I wanted to make this community project. Right now, including two surprises that I have if things go well, my goal is to raise $280. All proceeds will go towards buying sponsorships on Hockey-Reference. My idea for the link that comes with the sponsorship is that it will go to a page that lists all of the Leafs' blogs so if you make a donation and want to participate in the page send me your blog address and I'll include it on the page. Also, once we have the pages paid for we can have a contest to see what the captions will be for Alfie, Mats, and the two surprise sponsorships. Finally, if there are any funds leftover we can run a vote to see who our next target will be. If you are interested in participating you can either send me money via paypal or e-mail money transfer or e-mail me and we can figure out a convenient way. I'll post the totals and receipts to show that all of the money is going towards this great idea.

Update [9:30am] So far, Chemmy, Loser Domi, Eyebeleaf, Sean, Godd and Till, and Greener have all contributed in addition to myself so we are up to $80 out of $280. You could use that $10 towards a pint at the bar or you could donate it knowing that the end result will piss off sens fans for an entire year. I think we all know the smart choice. The beauty is that you don't just have to be a Leafs fan to participate. You just need to hate Alfredsson.

Update [11:46am] Eric McErlain at AOL's NHL FanHouse thinks that Chemmy's plan is sheer brilliance. We are a third of the way towards Phase III of our plan. Is it childish? Sure. Is it hate-driven? Of course. Is this what being a fan is all about? Absolutely.

And for the Chris Pronger haters of the world Greg Wyshynski is offering you the chance to write the caption for Pronger's page. This thing is becoming epic.

• Steve does a rundown of the rumoured GM candidates. Why doesn't a reporter just admit that they have no clue and basically anyone that's ever worked in the NHL is a candidate regardless of whether they actually meet the criteria set out by the team. Hell, go nuts and include anyone from Europe too.
  
  
• Make your Conference Finals picks here
  
  
• Greener has the transcript of yesterday's news conference.
  
  
• Godd Till has to be on Howard Berger's shit list. Seriously, a Bears jersey? How did Working Class Howard afford that?
  
  
• Gretzky? And he'll bring back Barnett? So, when he was willing to take a paycut to play for the Leafs they said no. Now that he wants to bring his former agent who helped destroy Phoenix and showed no aptitude for management the Leafs will take The Great One? No thanks.
  
  
• They had to wait for a board meeting!?!?! Well, there goes all of my hope for the franchise. Almost all because I kind of trust Uncle Cliff.
  
  
• Want a glimpse of genius? Check out how these guys got booze into the Kentucky Derby. Do they not sell mickeys in the States? Or do they check the crotchal area that diligently?

This may come as a shock to those people that think that the last Canadian team in the playoffs becomes "Canada's Team" but sports are about so much more than supporting your team. They are also about hate. Nothing makes a fan happier than seeing their rivals fail. Just take a look at any fan of the other Canadian teams. They enjoy seeing the Leafs fail than their own team succeed. For us Leaf fans, seeing our rivals fail is a. a nice side benefit to supporting the Leafs and b. expected (see: senators, ottawa).

So naturally, when the hardest working blogger in the hockey blogosphere Greg Wyshynski - formerly of The Fourth Period, AOL's NHL FanHouse, and Deadspin's NHL Closer - asked me to write a piece for his newest venture, Yahoo's NHL Experts Blog, about one of the team's fiercest rivals I jumped at the chance.

It took longer than I had hoped but here is the piece that I had been hinting at the last couple of days: a eulogy for Montreal's season . My favourite part is the closing hymn.

That was a good outlet to express some of the disdain I have for one of the Leafs' rivals but the other outlet came in a bit of a roundabout way. Hockey-Reference is the hockey spin off of one of baseball's best statistical sites. Yesterday Mirtle alerted us to the fact that they were taking sponsorships for pages starting from $10 for the year. He already had Wayne Gretzky lined up when Sean came up with a brilliant idea for the topic line. Sean's suggestion set the wheels turning in Chemmy's head and over some quick messages he alerted me to the unlimited possibilities that sponsorship could provide.

Exhibit A - Carey Price

Thanks to Chemmy for the inspiration and Kim for the words.

Exhibit B is in the works but needless to say this is just the first salvo.

Thanks to Eyebeleaf for the heads up on the news that Paul Maurice has been canned. It is certainly no surprise to Leaf fans as the new GM will want to name his own coach. However, beyond that there were his struggles with timeouts, his poorly planned matchups, his hatred of backup goalies, his irrational use of the Wizard of Woz, and his lack of coaching ability.

Not that any of these were not mentioned in January. Better late than never I guess. Dave Feschuk is probably popping champagne right now.

Update: Via Jes at Hockey Rants here are the Acid Queen's thoughts.

He’s a decent coach ... in the AHL. Nice guy, too–but as an NHL coach I really don’t think he’s up to snuff. Coaches have to be developed too, just like players, and Mo’s development as a coach was severely hampered by his being thrown right into the fire all those years ago in Hartford after a whopping six weeks and change as an assistant coach under Paul Holmgren (who now GMs the Pflyers). If he wants to salvage any kind of career at all, he needs to go back to the AHL or just be an assistant somewhere for a few years and learn how to do more than the same old crap he did for 8 years in Carolina and 2 years in Toronto.

• Sean's optimism week is a trick! Those were all thinly veiled swipes at the team. Plus, he forgot JFJ's generosity in leaving for TSN in February so that the Leafs could have a few more months in which to do nothing about their vacant GM position. What a guy.
  
  
• Loser Domi documents Sean Avery's internship at Vogue.
  
  
• No agent for Tavares? Considering that Ovechkin did pretty well by himself and that most of the rookie contracts are standard for future Wayne Gretzkys I don't see why he would need one. Oh and his mom is going to be his agent? That's a great move because the last Oshawa General superstar that had his family handle his affairs ended up with a smooth career.
  
  
• The Brunnstrom Sweepstakes end tomorrow. Then we can begin the long process of hearing about this move for decades as one of the stupidest moves in franchise history regardless of what happens.
  
  
• Dr. Mirtle looks at the ref's inconsistencies in the playoffs. The next awesome step would be to highlight it by referee so that we could quantify just how terrible Koharski, Devorski, McGeough, et al really are at their jobs. No need to do Kerry Fraser of course.
  
  
• Steve takes a look at some interesting free agents that might interest the Leafs. Hagman and Vrbata are two that should draw serious consideration from the team. Perry would cost picks, Malone is overrated, and Avery is the devil.

Just a few links today because I have to finish something up about the Habs ASAP. Remember to toss in any interesting links that you find.

• Steve's continuing his descent into madness. He must feel like he's taken crazy pills and no one at MLSE is seeing what he sees. Also, he invented the piano key necktie.
  
  
• Greener wonders what Doug Armstrong has to do to get noticed by Kirke and Peddie.
  
  
• Kim Jorn looks in on Macleans to check on the status of their anti-Leafs marketing campaign. Good to see Leaf haters provided such a prominent role. Or it would be if Macleans was relevant.
  
  
• An update on the Brunnstrom Sweepstakes. Not as exciting as the Slide for Stamkos and likely to be just as fruitful but at least if the Leafs win we'll have until Opening Night to crow about it. Then he'll retire after 10 games.
  
  
• Leafs scouts are excited about the team having so many picks. Silly scouts. There is still tonnes of time for those picks to be traded.
  
  

I am sure most of us were huddled around a television Saturday willing the Flyers to finish off the Canadiens and sure enough the collective willpower of Leafs Nation finally did something useful and ensured that Carey Price's fragile game would burst into flames like so many Montreal police cars. In a span of a few minutes all of the focused rage paid off and the threat of another Canadian team winning the Stanley Cup has been averted for one more season.

I actually find it frustrating to explain to 'Leaf' fans why it is morally reprehensible for them to cheer on other Canadian teams. I try to explain that sports are one of the last refuges of legitimate hate that exists. I point out that rather than welcome your support other fans will use their team's success to browbeat you. I point out that cheering on your rivals goes against the basic tenets of sports and still some don't get it. Jay sums things up for them:

Well, the last Canadian team finally bit it, and I couldn't be happier. The mad cult cheering for the cup to return "home" may never get it, but I'll give it a try: Enduring the relentless hype and bandwagon fandom a Canadian cup run would draw is one thing, but can you imagine if it's one of the other two teams in your own division? Seriously picture that - going into eight games next season hearing "in town to visit the defending Stanley Cup champs / hosting the defending Stanley Cup champs", watching the opening night ceremonies, seeing that banner in the rafters...

As Jay and Loser Domi have pointed out, there is one Canadian team playing and that's the one that is sporting the red maple leaf in Halifax and Quebec. Until that team suits up in the NHL I will never cheer for the Cup to 'return home'. Especially since the Cup lives in Toronto and tours the country during the summers anyway.

So needless to say it was a great weekend and I'll have something amazing (read: written) about the Habs' demise tomorrow which will probably bring out the trolls (if I do it right) so we have that going for us.

Anyway, here are some links to read and remember to toss any that you come across in the comments:

• Godd Till needs our help! I know that an article by Cox exists stating that Quinn can't relate to younger players. How do I know? Because he says that he's never said it.
  
  
• Enrico finds a marginally funny sign. The one at the bottom was better.
  
  
• Eyebeleaf has video of one of the greatest saves in hockey history. Nabokov's save was the difference between me going to bed around 1130pm and 230am. Thanks buddy.
  
  
• Steve's crusade to get Pogge a start in the AHL playoffs  is failing. To be fair, he's up against epic incompetence. I can't wait to find out that Cassie Campbell will be the Leafs' next GM.
  
  
• Sean drops a bomb! It's optimism week at Down Goes Brown! Although, he's lying because if he was really optimistic he wouldn't be talking about the Trade Deadline except with regard to loading up for the inevitable playoff run ;)
  
  

Woo-hoo! The weekend! I am worn out from last night's game so here are some links. Toss in any interesting ones you read in the comments.

• Rob Of The World has a roundup of the Marlies first round series. Game 1 in round 2 goes tonight at the Ricoh. Expected capacity is about 2,000. Think that tickets might still be too expensive MLSE?
  
  
• This game was not pretty but it didn't get ugly.
  
  
• Mark Zwolinski tells us that Tucker is first in line for a buy-out. Oh brother. Aside from the fact that they should be buying out the medical staff that let him play injured almost the entire year let's not forget that buy-outs will hamper the team just at the point when they are supposed to be competitive once again. Of course the board has approved the move, they are idiots.
  
  

Well, one of the best things about having multiple teams in multiple sports is when their seasons overlap. The Leafs end just as TFC is starting up, the EPL is getting going just as the MLS is in full swing, the NFL gets going shortly thereafter, and who cares about baseball? You never have much time to dwell on a team's failures because there is always another source of hope just around the corner. With Liverpool gone from the Champions League I can now focus on North American soccer. Word is the CL final will be May 21st but I think I'll just take a few sleeping pills the night of the 20th and wake up on the 22nd.

Meanwhile, in some site news, April is the new record month for visits and page views. Thanks go out to everyone that visits and contributes and hopefully the community will continue to grow. There are some changes coming forth that will make the site about 1000 times better.

As for Leaf land, Wedding bells are ringing for the Captain. The first e-mail I got was telling me about the wedding and the second I got from a friend was asking about the divide by 2 and add 7 rule. No worries, Mats is not going the route of Roger Clemens or Karl Malone. 37/2 = 18 (always round down) + 7 = 25 so he is all good.

• Joe Pelletier has a profile on Bill Barilko. I remember at one of the games I went to see this past season they had a contest between two guys that had to name 5 songs each. They went back and forth recognizing ridiculous chick songs, club songs, and other gimmes for the Woodbridge crowd and the last one for the second guy was Fifty Mission Cap. He had on a Leafs' jersey and a cap and was all "I AM A HUGE LEAFS FAN!!!" and he blew it. I couldn't stop laughing.
  
  
• Greener wants Avery's doctors to have the freedom to deal with the lacerated spleen as they see fit regardless of their course of action. P.s. considering Buzz Bissinger's ridiculous rant against blogs isn't it ironic that it was a newspaper that basically made up all of the details surrounding Avery's predicament?
  
  
• Posts like this one make hating a team all worthwhile. Chew on this: If not for a Jeff Carter broken stick at the end of game 1 the Habs would have been swept.

If you have any other interesting links be sure to add them in the comments.

The big news of the day will be this poll which purports to have some sort of scientific value but is really just a useless exercise in self-fellating by what I can only assume to be a Habs fan that is frustrated by HNiC's decision to try to make money rather than congratulate Montreal on their soon to be ended season.

The Globe even goes as far as to publish why this poll is so useless:

The survey of more than 1,000 people across the country began April 24, after the Ottawa Senators and Calgary Flames had been eliminated from playoff action, and ended April 28.

Toronto Mike, glove tap for the find, figures out why the Habs might have come out on top:

That left Montreal to attract the many "cheer for a Canadian team" fans and other bandwagon jumpers that make these polls worthless.

I wonder if the pointdexters that developed the poll thought of fans like itchit from this Mirtle post that calls himself a Leaf fan and says him and his Leaf fan friends are cheering on the Habs! I'll leave it to MF37 to explain how real fans feel.

Gah. I feel so dirty thinking that there are people parading around like Leaf fans cheering on the Habs. Know what else makes me feel dirty? Plagiarism. Thanks to Greener for pointing out the similarities (ie exact sameness) of Coach Willie's March 28th afternoon post and mine from that morning! Feel free to comment on the similarities on Willie's post.

Ok, morning grievances aside, here are some serious articles to read.

• Greener points out that the Leafs might have drafted Sergei Fedorov.
  
  
• Roy MacGregor calls Carey Price Cinderella. All fairy godmother jokes aside, midnight moves ever closer tonight...
  
  

These are all reactions to an interesting HBO piece from last night hosted by Bob Costas that featured Will Leith of Deadspin, Braylon Edwards, and some old guy that I have never met that was supposed to represent the dying medium that is the newspaper. This might only be of interest to me but it could be illuminating to the poor souls that still think ESPN is actually the World Wide Leader and not just the loudest voice.

• Will gets ready to jump into the lion's den to meet Buzz Bissinger the aforementioned bitter old man.
  
  
• Brian Steven Powell tries to explain, once again, why blogs exist. I am not sure most of those that echo Buzz's sentiments understand this simple fact.
  
  
• Orson Swindle from one of the best college football blogs ever outlines just who a blogger could be and funny enough it's not someone that lives in their mom's basement. Take note MSM.
  
  
• The Big Lead, who is actually a freelance journalist (eat it MSM!) does a good roundup of the event.
  
  
• Ken Tremendous, aka Mose Shrute, has a much shorter recap. He also brings up one of the funniest (saddest?) misconceptions of MSM blog-haters: Blog comments are not the same as blog posts. I don't see how that's so difficult to understand but apparently if you don't know how to use the internet then it's a difficult distinction to make.
  
  
• Will gets the last word about the appearance. Basically, he pities the old guard that either don't understand or refuse to believe that their medium is dying and that the new wave is coming whether he wants to acknowledge it or not.
  
  

Sorry for the off-topic links but sports media issues and their feelings towards bloggers is obviously an interest of mine. Hopefully, and you know who you are, some of you will take a look at Fire Joe Morgan or Deadspin and try to understand that just because a reporter or journalist is in the media or works at ESPN their thoughts and actions should not automatically be considered intelligent, true, or accurate.

CoxBloc shows this as often as they can for Toronto but taking a wider view of the issue would be worthwhile. It might also save me the hassle of trying to explain why sabermetrics are better than regular statistics, why the improvement of statistics in hockey is a good thing, why ESPN is actually run be Lucifer, or why quarterback rating is so flawed.

As Playoff Hate dictates, now that the sens and Flames are out of the playoffs the real Leaf fans' attention moves to the Habs and making sure that they get eliminated post-haste. Thankfully, Carey Price - being a closet Leaf fan - is doing his best to speed up the elimination process. Last night his glove hand was exposed twice. His glove hand has been beyond weak. Where have I heard that before. The two periods of work brought Price's stats to seven goals allowed in his last 35 shots faced. The Messiah isn't handling this playoff hockey thing so well. Maybe it's time for a change. Ah schadenfreude, you're my best friend.

Here are some other things to read:

• Steve tells us that Kaberle is going to be the Czech national team's captain. Does this put him on the fast track to skipper the Leafs?
  
  
• CuseAdelphia doesn't even mention the BS ejection for Hatcher or Plekanec's chickenshit attempt to injure Umberger.
  
  
• Matt P. reports on the desecration of the Rocky statue. Living up to their stereotype, Flyers fans then booed the Canadian national anthem. Yes, the anthem of Daniel Briere, Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, and Martin Biron among others. Stay classy Philadelphia.
  
  
• Greener thinks that Habs fans have shown enough to believe that they will find a new way to one-up their Philly brethren.
  
  
• Eyebeleaf laments another wasted season by the Raptors. BC, this advice is free: 1. Trade TJ. 2. Get a real centre. No, Rasho is not a real centre.
  
  

Not a bad weekend of hockey (or soccer! GO TFC!) as the Habs lost to the Flyers courtesy of another Carey Price blunder and the team built by our future GM took a 2-0 lead over the San Jose Sharks. Hal Gill helped the Pens take a 2-0 lead and Detroit looks unstoppable again.

As for the Leafs,

• Loser Domi files part two of her expose on Bryan McCabe's backyard BBQ. That Tie Domi can't spell.
  
  
• PSC looks at Carey Price's kryptonite: simple, common sense plays. The FHF are in no way worried.
  
  
• Steve sees the Marlies morphing into something horrific: The Leafs. And Pogge still isn't playing because Greg Gilbert is a big dummy. The only depressing thing about the soccer game on Saturday was realising the extent to which MLSE is in trouble.
  
  
• Greener once met Sean Avery and didn't even kick him in the junk. Oh, and Hal Gill may not be a fighter but he would have killed the punk on Sunday.
  
  
• Andrew Bucholtz, a fellow Golden Gael, looks at the Jays. I hate baseball so seeing the Jays' struggle is bringing a smile to my face. I wonder if JP will make it to year 8 (or is it 9?) of his five year plan to win the AL East.
  
  
• Jorn's Jottings are back. I have to agree with Kim, how is Uncle Jesse's dirty sucker punch not more of an issue? Last year when Brad May did it to Jonsson he was marked for death. I guess the CBC is, as Kim rightfully should be, afraid of having their offices looted.