This is a public plea to the Kitten Ranch known as PPP.

All my life I’ve assumed that my parents have lived a petless existence, as I have. Only recently I have learned that this is not true. Let me tell you the story of my dad’s cat Tiger.

Back in England when my dad was growing up (about my age), he worked at my grandfather’s post office. My grandpa was apparently an unreal mathematician back in his day and could count pages of sums in the blink of an eye. I like to think I picked up even half the math he could do while he raised me. My grandpa turned 90 years old a few weeks ago (this is how I came onto the story of Tiger) and is still going strong. I love him so much.

Back to my story. My dad lived in a sketchy borough of London called Hackney, so they often got unwanted company. This cat, this hero, would fight and chase out predatory animals and humans alike. He chased out crooks, dogs three times his size, and all kinds of wildlife. He was a warrior and a loyal member of the family all the way to the end of his ninth life. He sadly died, dad won’t tell me the story how.

I’ve wanted a pet for a while, and ever since learning the heroics of Tiger, that feeling has only grown. Who wouldn’t want a cat that can fight off nazis on Twitter and Questrae commercials on TV alike? Sheltering in place has had its ups and downs, and long story short, a companion would be pretty nice to have right about now.

Sure, cats can be jerks sometimes. They whine during podcasts and step on keyboards, somehow deleting all the unsaved files open. But they’re also great! No one ever regretted Felix Potvin.

What do you think?

Should Hardev be allowed to get a cat?

No, a plea on a hockey blog won’t convince me. 60

Toronto Maple Branches

The Toronto Marlies signed forward Scott Pooley to a one-year AHL contract yesterday. Pooley was a decent contributor to the team when they were at their worst at the beginning of the year. He’s tall, moves decently and can capitalize if given time and space in the AHL. There’s an outside chance he gets a regular roster spot next season. The probability is greater if the Leafs send prospects like Semyon Der-Arguchintsev (and maybe Riley Stotts?) to the ECHL first.

Toronto Marlies Re-Sign Scott Pooley

Leafs prospect Nick Robertson was nominated by his team for the 2019-20 Most Outstanding Player award in the OHL. Previous winners include Connor McDavid, Mitch Marner, Alex DeBrincat, Jordan Kyrou, and Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen.

Arthur Kaliyev, Quinton Byfield, or Marco Rossi might pip Robertson to the title, but he led the league in goals by a mile. 55 in 46 is three more than the next guy on the list in 16 fewer games. Even with 31 assists, Robertson finished top-10 in OHL scoring. In points per game, he’s fourth.

This masterpiece was tweeted by LeafsPR so I’m allowed to share it here, right? Sweet.

Various Other Hockey Branches

Dustin Byfuglien has officially called it quits with the Winnipeg Jets. He had his contract that owed him $14 million across this season and next mutually terminated. Big Buff is a free agent right now, but odds are still up in the air if he’s ever going to make a return to the league.

Usually I hear about how pets imitate their owners. What happened here?

That kid could be John Tavares one day!