Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the penalty box up with Mitch Marner Nikita Zaitsev!
In intermissions there’s nothing so becomes a player,
As sweaty interviews of nonformation and humility;
But when the blast of the goal horn in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the lion like Matthew’s tattoo:
Stiffen the sinews, conjure up the blood,
Disguise good ol’ Canadian boy nature with hard-favoured rage:
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let it pry through the portage of the head,
Like the Fortnite cannon; let the brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled hockey writer when they find out a player won’t be available to give empty non-answers
O’erhang and jutty their confounded base,
Swill’d with the Wild and wasteful cap space.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide as Marchand’s;
Hold hard the breath and lift up every snapshot
To its full height. On, on, you noblest Maple Leafs,
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Wendels,  
Have in these parts from morn till even fought,
And hung up the skates for lack of games.
Dishonour not your Babs: now attest,
That those whom you call’d Wendel did beget you.
Be copy now to men of Sens and Habs and Oilers and Flames and Canucks blood,
And teach them how to play hockey. And you, good bloggers,
Whose memes were made in PPPland, show us here
The mettle of your snark: let us swear
and curse at Marchands’ demonic breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath the Sens’ lustre in your eyes.
I see you post gifs like doges in the twitters,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit; and upon this charge,
Cry ‘God for Wendel! Phil! and Saint Reimer!’

Jake Gardiner talks penalties, Mike Babcock doesn’t | by Katya

Miscellaneous Leaf Thoughts: We’re Still Alive Edition | by Fulemin

Toronto Marlies win Game 1 over Utica in overtime thriller | by Hardev

Someone made a Mitch Marner Mountain Dew commercial and we can’t stop watching | by The Leafs Nation

Leafs coach Mike Babcock on Ron Hainsey: ‘Who do you want out there, instead?’ | by Sean Fitz-Gerald

Mike Babcock on the fans: “They’re so fired up about their Leafs… but they don’t know if they’re quite good enough yet. We’ve got to prove we are.” | by MLHS

Leafs strive to show more discipline in Game 6 | by Kristen Shilton at TSN


Two series wrapped up after last night, with the Penguins scoring 4 goals in the 3rd period to win 8-5. Jake Guentzel scored 4 straight goals by himself, and as a fantasy owner of him this year I’d just like to say WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS DURING THE REGULAR SEASON???

Overshadowing even that performance was the ridiculous performance of two notable Flyers. First, Ivan Provorov playing through an injured shoulder and saying through tears this memorable quote:

The hat trick and five point performance that Sean Couturier put up including this amazing goal WHILE PLAYING THROUGH AN MCL INJURY!!!

The Nashville Predators also wrapped up their series with a 5-0 beat down of the Colorado Avalanche. I could link tweets, gifs, and videos related to the series or game itself but while doing so I found this much more worthy thing to share instead:

That fan is all of us.

Happy Monday everyone!

What is the frequency and length of time of your average Bud?

Buds’re ‘bout it e’ry day, e’ry day21