On Thursday, a new baby arrived in the arms of the NHL, an expansion team now named the Seattle Kraken. The name, logo, and colours were announced to the public at noon eastern and on the whole it was a very exciting day in the hockey world.
The Seattle Kraken had a lot of fun once the name was finally revealed, including this amazing video of how the NHL group chat reacted to the news. Lots of infighting and everyone making it about themselves, classic!
group chat blowin up rn pic.twitter.com/go0xCOveLk— Seattle Kraken (@NHLSeattle_) July 23, 2020
Lots of people were speculating the name in the days/weeks/months before the team was unveiled, and a lot of great jokes floated through the waters, but one in particular took a bite out of me.
The Newfoundland Growlers, whose logo is a big furry dog, decided to wonder whether they’ll be able to eat whatever Seattle comes up with as their mascot. The tweet was very emblematic of a hungry dog — deathly still, but thoroughly investigating whether the enemy in front of them is edible. Well done team!
patiently waiting to see if we can eat whatever the @NHLSeattle_ team turns out to be.— Newfoundland Growlers (@NLGrowlers) July 23, 2020
As for the question at hand, can a dog eat a Kraken? I doubt it’s ever been attempted in real life, but you never know what happened in ye olde days. If both are in the alive state, it would be quite the task for a Newfoundland dog (roughly 74 cm tall, weighing 70 kg) to take down a gigantic squid that can grow up to 15 metres in length. That’s 21 times bigger, for those counting at home. Round goes to the cephalopod, but I’m sure the good dog would give it a good Canadian try.
If the Kraken is dead (after a viscous battle with a Leaf), there is evidence to suggest a dog can in fact eat a squid. According to the American Kennel Club, “dogs can eat fish, and fish can be a part of a healthy diet for your dog, provided it is fully cooked without any additional oils and seasonings, does not contain any bones, and is not a species prone to high levels of mercury such as tuna.”
On the plus side, squids have no bones, but on the minus side, it might take about 50 years for the Earth to get hot enough to cook a fish as big as a Kraken. However, after more research on It’s a Doggie Thing dot com, I have found this: “Yes, dogs can eat squid without having any adverse health problems. Squid is a fantastic source of protein and is an excellent source for dogs that need a protein-rich diet such as Pit Bulls, Bulldogs, etc. This low-fat seafood is best consumed if it isn’t fried or battered. Squids are commonly fed to dogs on raw diets as they are rich in micronutrients.”
Bon Appetit, Growlers!
I wonder how many NHL teams can be safely consumed by a Good Boy?
Various Hockey Branches
At the site, Brigstew wrote about the soon-to-be best Aho in the NHL, Karri Aho. He’s a draft eligible defenseman whose been described as smart, mobile, and poised. That hits all my buttons! He played in the junior league in Finland, so he hasn’t gotten much hype, but he has a promising skillset and is on the younger side among his draft class.
“Now’s a good time to mention the other strength of Aho’s game: he’s clever. He makes smart plays, he doesn’t have a lot of errors or brain farts, he pays attention and notices plays developing both offensively and defensively. He has the ability to avoid pressure from forecheckers and make a play to avoid it, either with his skating or by passing the puck. He can step up on a forward in the neutral zone to deny an entry. The combination of his skating with his ability to anticipate plays works out well both in transition offense and transition defense.”
Yesterday evening also saw a media dump by the NHL on what the NHL bubbles are going to look like for the playoffs, going into more details on amenities and spaces for the players and teams to work.
Here is the “secure zone” within Toronto where people inside the bubble are allowed to be. The league will be taking over a portion of the Exhibition grounds (not the Coca-Cola Coliseum), including BMO field where players will be able to workout on the grass and presumably use the suites for game viewing and dining. There is a short path from the Fairmont to Scotiabank Arena down York St. that the league has designated for travel. Teams will also be allowed to use the four pads at the Mastercard Centre for practices. There’s also lots of food.
A look at the NHL's "secure zone" in Toronto. pic.twitter.com/MB1yP1opPb— Chris Johnston (@reporterchris) July 24, 2020
In Edmonton, players will be able to grab some Tim Hortons coffee and food trucks have been driven in to increase the food options. There are also access to movie theatres and training facilities. Long story short, in terms of the quality of the bubbles, Toronto wins.
A look at the NHL's "secure zone" in Edmonton. pic.twitter.com/FxOEmK3cDv— Chris Johnston (@reporterchris) July 24, 2020
As for the Game Presentation, the NHL will be hoping to snazz up the empty arena with lots of graphics. Hearing the CG team for the 2013-14 HNIC intro has been re-hired to do these presentations. I’m sorry, I’ve always found the graphics and stuff the NHL does at the All Star games and the Awards to be super tacky and I don’t expect these to be any better. Maybe the HNIC intro was ahead of its time, I just hope it’s not too distracting. They’re going to be pumping in EA NHL crowd audio into the broadcasts, which could be pretty cool.
Here's a rendering of what the arena will look like during the NHL restart. The league is promising a unique look and feel to every game played, including the local goal horns and songs of each team participating. pic.twitter.com/dwMAocHe2c— Chris Johnston (@reporterchris) July 24, 2020
They also shared the very rigid systems within players can show support for front line workers and social justice efforts. Basically, token words spoken as quietly as possible. I honestly don’t expect anything of value from the NHL in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, so I’m happy to just ignore these bland gestures when they come across my screen. It’s not going to help anyone other than allowing the league to pat themselves on the back, so what’s the point.
The league is also unveiling their #WeSkateFor Initiative. Throughout the tournament the NHL will be honoring front line workers, social justice efforts. A lot of visual branding. pic.twitter.com/BQRXrmgb56— Samantha Pell (@SamanthaJPell) July 24, 2020
William Nylander also provided updates on what he’s bringing to the bubble.
Nylander on moving into the bubble: "Just pack your stuff and go." #Leafs— Terry Koshan (@koshtorontosun) July 23, 2020
And here’s what the bubble looks like from the ground.
Looks like the Fairmont Royal York is ready #NHLReturnToPlay pic.twitter.com/0gnk74Jlwy— Kevin McGran (@kevin_mcgran) July 24, 2020
The MLB is adding a whole new meaning to breaking the seal and everything going wrong.
Its always the horny ones that ruin it for the rest of us— Ryan K (@Roadkill823) July 23, 2020
( article from @JeffPassan ) pic.twitter.com/tM14qvNqwm
Two Toronto eSports owners are planning to build arenas for their teams on the Exhibition grounds in the near future. These arenas, that look like a cross between a TV studio and World Championship of Darts stage will be the new home for the Toronto Defiant and the Toronto Ultra (two great team names) who play in the Overwatch League and Call of Duty league respectively. Sounds like a lot of fun!