For fans of a certain vintage, you may not be aware that Bill Watters used to be the Leafs assistant general manager before he was unceremoniously dumped for being awful at his job. How awful? Well, Don Meehan and Tie Domi almost tore his arm off reaching for the pen when Watters managed to out-negotiate himself as documented in a dodgy CBC Sports documentary:

Three weeks later, after further haggling between Watters and Meehan, Domi didn't get his $1.5 million. He got an average of $1.43 million over five years, far more than Watters had said he was willing to pay. (Asked afterwards, Watters said he felt justified in paying that much because of the long-term nature of the deal - it included an option for a sixth year. By the end of the contract's term, he figured, salaries will have escalated so much that Domi will look like a bargain.)

Back in Meehan's office, the agent tried to explain to his client why they had failed to secure a million and a half dollars a year. Meehan's tone was apologetic, even though the figures were astronomical by any measure.

MEEHAN: "There are some GMs, when they get wind of this number, there's going to be havoc. Seven million one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for five years. Now that breaks down to $1.43 million a year. Pretty close to that $1.5 million that we felt it would take to do a year. It's very much like Berezin. He starts at $800,000. He goes to $1 million. He goes to $1.2 million. He goes to $1.4 million, and then he goes to $1.75 million plus $400,000 in signing [bonus] in the fifth year."

Then the agent changes tack, gingerly addressing the topic of why Domi was being paid all that money. He fights, in a game where fighting has value. And enforcers, at a certain point in their career, often decide that they no longer want to do what got them there in the first place. Meehan wanted to make sure that wasn't the case with Domi.

MEEHAN: "Now there's another thing that we haven't talked about today. There probably hasn't been an individual like you who does what you do that at a certain popint in time loses a real zeal to do that. It doesn't become much fun. And it's not easy what you do. And that's why you're commanding this kind of money..."

Pat Morris jumps into the conversation.

MORRIS: "When I was driving into the office today I had occasion to speak to Craig Hartsburg, and I said....if we could deliver Tie Domi [at] about $1.435 million, what would you say to that? He chuckled and said I'd say yes, in a heartbeat, run to it, run to it."

MEEHAN: "We wouldn't have a chance in hell of getting these numbers with 99 percent of the teams in the league. But we do, due to your own strength, how popular you are in this community."

Through all of this, Domi didn't say a word. He looked grim, ferocious, as though he were about to squre off with Bob Probert. For the longest time, after Meehan finished his pitch, he remained silent. Then he piped up with his first words in the discussion.

DOMI: "This all in U.S.?"
MEEHAN: "Yeah."
DOMI: (laughing) "We still have this same thing, this same fifth year, guaranteed?"
MEEHAN: "Yeah."
DOMI: "And the sixth year is an option like the fifth year?"
MEEHAN: "The sixth year is talking about $1.9 million."
DOMI: (beaming) "Let's get it done!"

The look on his face is the look of someone who is thrilled to be playing hockey for a living, who probably never expected to have a shot in the NHL, who would certainly do it for a lot less than $1.43 million - U.S. - a year if he had to, if not for nothing. And he can't quite believe that he's been lucky enough to make more money than he ever could imagine.

"The media are going to have their say, the fans are going to have their say, " Domi said later. "If everybody thought like I do, I think everybody in the whole world would be rich. Because I'd be happy for anybody, it doesn't matter who it is, to sign contracts or people who win the lottery. I'm happy for anybody. It's a short life and you've got to take advantage of everything when you can get it. I'm in one of those situations where, hey, I'm the happiest guy in the world."

- Hockey Forum

But readers of this site probably recognize him more for the time he called Cody Franson a "3rd of July parade guy" the year that the city's Pride Parade was held on July 3rd. The explanation offered wasn't anywhere near believable and as the late Cox Bloc noted, it was just another example of the persistent homophobia in hockey.

Hmmmm maybe if we take a look at the box score from Saturday night we can help Ol' Sourpuss figure out why Nazem Kadri looked so invisible?

Where

OU ES KADRI?

Guess it'll be a mystery. Right up there with why Bill "The Leafs are 100% trading for Eric Staal" Watters is ever put on the air.