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From the Branches: An apology from elseldo

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“I did not mean to deceive anyone with my actions yesterday....”

Pittsburgh Penguins v Toronto Maple Leafs
How many happy people like these did I hurt?
Photo by Kevin Sousa/NHLI via Getty Images

[Ed. Note: PPP Kitten Ranching, Pug Herding, and Heavy Manufacturing Inc. did not endorse or condone an article that was posted yesterday regarding James van Riemsdyk and his future with the Maple Leafs. It was published without proper peer review and the author of the post has been asked to apologize]

Dear SB Nation, my fellow staff, and most of all our loyal readers:

Yesterday I acted out of fear and panic. I acted without the permission or agreement of my fellow writers here and for that I apologize.

When I saw it mentioned that James van Riemsdyk merchandise was on clearance beside Bernier, Kessel, Phaneuf, and Lupul, I reacted with panic and the assumption that JVRs days were numbered.

In my rush to share my findings with the Barilkosphere and other fans of Mr. van Riemsdyk, I failed to go through due diligence, contact other sources, look at the roster page on the Toronto Maple Leafs website, or speak with my fellow collegues here at Pensionplanpuppets.com.

Since I did not use the resources available to me and published a story in a rush, I spread false rumors and accusations across the world wide web. My talent for drawing page views with my excellent SEO abilities caused these words to reach the eyeballs of over 7,000 people. For that I apologize.

With my whole heart, with tears in my eyes, I aplogize to the hockey world, Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Wordblast, WUPHF, ICQ, AOL Instant Messenger, and the many IRC channel members for misleading you.

I apologize to Vox Media Inc., SBNation.com, Travis Hughes, Scott Wheeler and the many writers, for any damages I caused to their brands.

I apologize to the Toronto Maple Leafs, MLSE Ltd., and James van Riemsdyk for any confusion I caused in your offices.

Finally, I apologize to my family. You deserve a better father/husband/brother/son than myself. I can only take solace in the fact that my grandparents are no longer with us to see the shame I have brought to the seldo name.

I hope you can forgive me.

-el seldo

[Ed. We now return to your regularly scheduled FTB]

Good Morning Canada!

After an impressive 5-2 victory over Sweden last night, the Canadians are preparing to take on the Americans tonight.

Getting ahead of myself, here’s the best excuse Canada can use: The Americans game ended almost four hours before the Canadians game, and the US got more rest.

Done, now let’s hit the links.

Anaheim Calling boasts about Ducks prospect Troy Terry.

Defending Big D calls for Alexei Emelins head after he tried to take off Antoinne Roussels.

Down Goes Brown wants a Leafs/Habs out door game. So do I.

Lighthouse Hockey looks at an Islanders record that the Blue Jackets want to break.

The Penguins are on vacation.

A handsome man looks at Lightning prospects over at Raw Charge.

Silver Seven Sens has some wishes for 2017.

Finally, Boston Bruins legend Milt Schmidt passed away at age 98 yesterday. Stanley Cup of Chowder has you covered.

I want to thank everyone for the second chance today. I will not let you down ag-

OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT I FOUND UNDER CLEARANCE IN THE NHL SHOP!