clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

From the Branches: Proof the Maple Leafs are bad for your health

We all knew that, but now science says so.

Toronto Maple Leafs v Winnipeg Jets Photo by Jason Halstead /Getty Images

There is now scientific evidence that the Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to kill us, and for that, we have two teenage girls from Montreal to thank.

Leia Khairy and Roxana Barin came up with the idea to study the heart rates of hockey fans watching a game, simultaneously contributing to the greater good of human knowledge and winning the coveted prize of Most Canadian Scientific Study Ever. It’s a neat article, although I’d ideally like to see a larger subject pool than 20 Habs fans. I guarantee you, the Leafs are trying even harder to give all of us heart attacks, thereby making Leafs fans the perfect fanbase to survey. I’d happily volunteer as a research subject, if I was compensated appropriately (with chocolate and/or beer).

There were also quite a few games last night, and then there was whatever the hell Penguins vs Blackhawks turned into (“game” seems wrong. Perhaps, drubbing? Thrashing? Complete annihilation?). The Blackhawks won, 10-1. I’m sure Penguins fans are taking this very calmly and rationally; meanwhile, I’m whistling on my way to work this morning.

Some more links for your Friday:


Maple Leafs Place Martin Marincin on Waivers - Pension Plan Puppets
After the successful debut of Andreas Borgman, Marincin seems to be surplus to requirements.

Stuff We Didn’t Write

Remembering Christiana Duarte - Jewels From The Crown
The horrific evil of Sunday’s mass shooting in Las Vegas has affected the Los Angeles Kings.

Hoi Zäme, New Jersey | By Nico Hischier
Has Nico Hischier ever been in jail? Read this to find out!

Translation: Nikita Kucherov tells Sport-express, “I don’t want to miss playoffs any time in my career” - Raw Charge
"I don’t want to watch other teams fight for the Stanley Cup."

Visor use in NHL hits all-time high, with 94% of players wearing one | Toronto Star
Based on rosters handed in by the 31 teams at Tuesday’s deadline, only 34 out of 640 total skaters listed for the 2017-18 season will play without a protective shield.