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Wednesday FTB: All your jersey takes are bad

Your taste is bad and you should feel bad

Toronto Maple Leafs v Edmonton Oilers Photo by Codie McLachlan/Getty Images

Everyone loves to have opinions on things that come down to subjective taste. More than they like having opinions, everyone likes telling other people what those opinions are in many passionate words.

So yesterday might as well have been declared a holiday for the interwebs, because we had three examples make the rounds on Twitter. Two of them are technically older, or things we had already seen in some fashion, but one was brand new.

First, there’s the official reveal of the already leaked jersey design of the New Jersey Devil’s alternate jerseys.

There are many things that people made fun of about this. First, the fact that the jersey just says “Jersey”. Second, it has 5,000,000 white stripes. Third, the fact that... Martin Brodeur? apparently is the one who designed them using his years of education and professional development in the graphic design industry.

But hey, the team did show a sense of humour about it.

Then, Connor McDavid’s mansion once again made the rounds thanks to a video and article profile on it by Architectural Digest. This was made fun of for looking like a murder mansion devoid of comfort or joy, just like Connor McDavid’s personality hyuck hyuck hyuck.

Finally, the cherry on top of the shit opinions sundae came when Team Canada revealed their jersey designs for the Olympic hockey teams.

Look. I get it. If there’s one thing people can have fun with, it’s arguing about personal taste. Taste in movies, shows, music, fashion, food, drink, video games, physical appearance, whatever. I like to partake in good fun — like how you’re all bad and wrong for liking coffee or cheesecake, which are objectively the foulest concoctions in the known universe.

But here’s my hot take about these jerseys, or more specifically your opinions on jerseys. If you think the New Jersey Devils’ jersey, or Team Canada’s jersey, looks bad then you’re wrong. And if you think they’re good then you’re also wrong. In fact, if you had any opinion on them at all you bought a one-way ticket to Wrongsville. You are wrong and bad and you should feel bad because you cannot pay me enough money to make me care about them in anyway.

This concludes my TED talk. Do not @ me. We will not be accepting any comments about this so don’t even bother trying. The Kitten Ranch Laboratory has genetically cloned 12 foot attack cats with laser eyes to deal with anyone who tries to talk about them. You should definitely take me serious on this matter, but quietly.

LEAFS LINKS

Maple Leafs 20-Game Report: Same as it ever was | by Katya, who wrote many words she could have summarized in the space man “always has been” meme.

The Leafs first line left wing spot still seems to leave a lot to be desired | by TLN.

Ice-time allocation at the 20-game mark, Kyle Clifford’s callup, the need at top-six wing, and who is the team’s seventh defenseman? | by MLHS

One-on-one with Mitch Marner: On leaving the past behind, finding joy and growing into a better Maple Leaf | by The Athletic

‘Over the moon’ Kyle Clifford joins Maple Leafs in California | by Sportsnet

Leafs’ prospect Nick Abruzzese had a four point night last night for Harvard University.

Another Leafs’ prospect in the NCAA received a small award for his great weekend.

An Ian Scott sighting! He is reportedly close to returning from his pre-season injury.

AROUND THE HOCKEY WORLD

Insider Trading: Does holding All-Star Weekend same year as Olympics pose special concerns? | by TSN.ca

A change to the Hall of Fame committee.

An update on the Chicago Blackhawks scandal...

Hey speaking of sexual assault and hockey scandals... the Omaha Lancers drama in the USHL continues to get increasingly insane every day.

Some news that concerns the Leafs’ and their bid to finish higher in the division...

Getting tired of other NHL teams weaponizing the curse against the Toronto Maple Leafs and calling up former Leafs to score against us.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!