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Wednesday’s FTB: The parade is planned, you can knock off your jokes

Why wouldn’t they have planned it already? That just makes sense.

Maple Leafs Frank Grant/Toronto Star via Getty Images

Good morning Toronto Maple Leafs fans!

As of the morning of Decembers 1st, 2021 the Maple Leafs are tied for first in the Atlantic Division, tied for first in the Eastern Conference, and tied for first in the NHL. They have a 16-6-1 record, +17 goal differential, are on a four game winning streak and have a 9-1-0 record in their last ten games.

This run of success of course brings out the jokers and people who spend all of their time obsessing over the Leafs even though they say they don’t care about the Leafs, and their favourite go to line is “Plan the parade!”.

Listen folks, let me tell you one thing about this boring, overused “joke”.

THE PARADE IS ALREADY PLANNED

It’s just good sense to pre-plan these things ahead of time. Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment has past experience with this just sort of event.

In 2019 the Toronto Raptors victory parade overwhelmed the parade route, drawing in millions of fans to the downtown core, causing the parade to take hours to drive the short distance from Exhibition Place to City Hall.

A championship starved city, an exciting team filled with stars, a dramatic win got everyone in the mood for celebrating and the equivalent of half the city turned out for the party.

Raptors fans were only waiting 24 years for a victory, Leafs fans have more than double the years of wanting. If the Maple Leafs were to win the Stanley Cup people from all over the world would flood Toronto for a chance to crowd the city adn stand in one spot for half a day for a glimpse of a shirtless William Nylander on top of a double decker bus getting drunk with trade deadline acquisition PK Subban.

They’ve learned their lesson. They know what the route is. They know where the party will be. They know everything. They’re prepared. The parade is planned.

Now, some news.

This is a stupid, awesome, goal.

The kids are doing alright.

Brendan Lemieux is out for five games after biting Bray Tkachuk.

Speaking of discipline...

You want to go to an expensive game? Like, really expensive?

Jack Hughes is a very rich, happy man now.

Let it be known that in 120 games Jack hughes has 55 points total (0.45PPG). Michael Bunting has 28 points in 49 games (0.57 PPG). Just saying.

In our news....

Finally, Petr Mrazek is off to the Marlies for a conditioning stint.

The Maple Leafs play the Avalanche tonight at 7, a much bigger challenge than the California team we just played.

Go Leafs Go!