You know, a lot people have asked me how I'm able to follow sports that take place when most sensible people are in bed. The answer of course, is simple. Booze. That's right, short upon double upon measure upon pint upon litre upon boot upon yard of heady intoxicant.
Something as special and action packed as the Winter Games calls for something a little rarer though. Sure, a good windscreen de-icer will see you though a/Avs matchup at silly o'clock - but that just won't cut the mustard when you're flipping between the four man bobsleigh and the pairs compulsory dance program. With this in mind, I give you a little cheeky something of my own creation - the Mattblack wonderful winter warmer! For this, you will need:
- A fifth of Crown Royal, to own the podium (and later, the bathroom).
A fifth of vodka, for your latent Russian soulfulness and the distant call of the Steppes.
A fifth of rum, in memory of Cool Runnings and the late Gordon Lightfoot John Candy.
- A dash of rather unpleasant bile from overseas journalists (especially those from countries who really will show the world how to make a balls of running an Olympics in about ooo, 30 months time or so).
- A snifter of hot, cross and indignant tears caused by the above.
- A splash of shame and jealousy from when you realise you will never, ever date anyone as downright erotic as a female Curling skip.
- A can of warm, flat beer to celebrate that Great Britain ARE THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD AT WOMENS FACE FIRST SLIDING ON TEA TRAYS AT A SPEED BEYOND REASON!! IN YOUR FACE, HOLLINGSWORTH!!! TEAM GB!! TEAM GB!!!
That bottle of unidentified green liquid that your brother brought back from Bulgaria, with a laughing Cossack pictured on the label./
Mix together well in a cocktail shaker, serve over ice into a straight glass. Keep a bucket handy, along with your Cliff Notes on 'What makes 25-to-the-naked-eye-identical snowboard runs all very different'. Drink Responsibly.
The games on the ice from yesterday:
- Belarus 2 - 4 Sweden. The Monster made his Olympic debut, backing up the Swedes to a win over the Grabs-less Belorussians. A save % of less than .900 confirms he plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
- Czech! Republic 5 - 2 Latvia. St.
- 5 - 0
Links? We got links....
- Holy crap, Marlies win! Joey Joe Joe narrowly misses the shutout, but leads the team to a 2 - 1 victory over the Texas .
- Behind The Net takes a statsy look at the odds of winning the Gold.
- From the NCAA to the Olympics, Puck Daddy profiles the players making the journey.
- Away from Vancouver, Maple Leaf Hot Stove has been taking stock of the NHL standings.
- Toronto Sports Media and the evil that lurks in the ego of the head coach of children.
- Two offerings for non-hockey links - You can make pancakes like a crackhead or think about the one that got away.