January 18th, 2014.

That’s 3 years, 8 months and 26 days — or 1365 total days — or 32,760 total hours.

That’s how long it’s been since the Toronto Maple Leafs managed to beat the Vomit City Montreal Canadiens. For the elseldo household, that’s a long time for the Habs flag to be flying completely untouched. I heard that it actually got so worn being outside for that long they had to replace it — twice — since the last time the Leafs flag was last flying there instead.

There are only FIVE players on the Leafs who were on the roster the last time they beat Montreal. Can you guess who they are? The answers are at the bottom.

Come on, Leafs! You’re scoring all the goals! The Habs are scoring none of the goals! If there was a time for you to finally break the streak, now is the time! You don’t have to do it for yourselves, you don’t have to do it for the rest of us... but for the love of Wendel, do it for elseldo!

Did you know that Ron Hainsey used to be a top Canadiens prospect that didn’t pan out (at least until he moved on to another team)? It’s true, and the Athletic delves into that story if you’re interested.

Jeremy Bracco finally recovered enough from Mono to play in his first AHL game last night, which the Marlies lost 6-2 (two empty net goals). The Marlies will play tonight and tomorrow, part of three games in three nights. Expect to see a bunch of their spare players swap in and out!

Speaking of baby Leafs, the Orlando Solar Bears announced their opening day roster.

Speaking of Toronto hockey, nafio wrote a preview of the Toronto Furies 2017-2018 season.

The Furies’ first regular season game is tonight, which you can watch through a livestream here.


Jack Eichel only signed his mammoth contract one week ago, and he’s already spoken out about how much he hates that Buffalo sucks. BUFFALOL!

Last night, the Las Vegas Black Golden Sand ??? Knights played their second home game and what the actual hell is going on here!!!

In typical RANDYPUCK(TM) Hockey, the Ducks managed to get outshot 30-8 after two periods.... by the Colorado Avalanche. They wound up being outshot 39-18 and lost 3-1. Good one, Randy. Good one.

The game also saw both John Gibson leave the game with an injury, and Nate MacKinnon also leave the game after this...

Have a great Saturday everyone! GO LEAFS GO!


The five Leafs who were on the roster the last time they beat Montreal are: James van Riemsdyk, Tyler Bozak, Nazem Kadri, Jake Gardiner, and Morgan Rielly. No coaches or managers are left either.

What is the worst part of the Habs existing?

The ridiculous demand for all coaches and captains to be French70
The fans that will literally riot and burn the city to the ground over a normal loss20
Their 32,736 hour long pre-game ceremonies 43