The Toronto Maple Leafs are playing the Montreal Canadiens tonight, which is at least a pleasant change from the Senators. I’m not sure I’m emotionally equipped for playing the same team three games in four nights in the regular season, but now we get to move on to a different team we hate, so it’s all good.

Meanwhile! RealSports is running an auction of various game-worn and game-used Leafs gear and equipment, and it’s hilarious. Moving past the Auston Matthews jersey that was already well over $10,000 as of Friday evening, there are so many more delights to be discovered. Frederik Gauthier’s practice jersey! Nick Robertson’s game-worn gloves! If you bid on this Tyson Barrie game-used jersey, it comes with free team-used socks. This is the one time in human history that adding in sweaty, used socks from some anonymous member of a hockey team is supposed to be a perk. Are there really people who are on the fence about spending hundreds of dollars on a game-worn jersey and then they read about the used socks and think “well, in THAT case”? If there are, please do not, under any circumstances, tell me about them.

The real fun here comes in the auction’s “Miscellaneous” section, where you can bid on stuff like a Leafs traveling trunk used by the equipment staff and a used coaches’ rink board (which comes with a lanyard and coach’s whistle, perfect for annoying the crap out of partners, neighbors, and pets). The trunk is actually super cool, and is the one item from this auction I would consider buying if I had money (which, to be clear, I do not). It looks ideal for either a) using as a bench/storage combination to save space in a small apartment OR b) stashing the body of your dead husband who you’ve murdered to steal his fortune. It’s very multipurpose! Please tell me it does not come with socks.


North Division standings and can Auston Matthews get to 50 goals? - Pension Plan Puppets
What will the Leafs and Matthews have to do in the final 38 games to finish where they want to be?

Stuff We Didn’t Write

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Brian Burke’s ‘boot on their throat’ comment promotes violence, Canadian Broadcast Standards Council rules | The Star
A viewer complaint about Burke’s between-periods comment during the Avalanche-Stars playoff series led to this week’s ruling.

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But I’d still prefer it to happen in Minnesota, personally.

Buffalo Sabres and Black History Month: Mike Grier - Die By The Blade
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