clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

From the Branches: How do you autograph a French fry?

New, comments

Nazem Kadri’s done it, and more in today’s links

Washington Capitals v Toronto Maple Leafs - Game Six Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images

This Sportsnet article about the resurgence of (happy, optimistic) Maple Leafs fandom in Toronto has some great quotes (Connor Carrick comparing Leafs fans to the British Empire—“we’re everywhere”—is especially apt), but none raised more questions in my mind than this quote from Kadri about autographs.

London, Ont.–born Kadri says he gets asked to Sharpie his name on everything: smartphone cases, babies, French fries….

“Yeah, I signed a French fry before. It was pretty weird,” Kadri says. “It was probably the worst autograph I’ve ever given to somebody in my life. I think they kept it. For all I know they could’ve eaten it or given it to someone else to eat. I did the best I could.”

Forget, for a moment, the question of why someone would want Nazem Kadri to autograph their French fry. I’m too caught up in the mechanics of it. Would Sharpie even work on a French fry? One would think the grease would get in the way. Where did the French fry come from? What shape was the fry? Are we talking one of those skinny McDonald’s cut fries, or something larger, like a steak fry? It has to be the latter, right?

I have so many questions about this incident. Where is the fry now? Is it on display in someone’s house? Was it preserved in some way? How do you preserve a French fry for posterity? Did someone eat it? If so, was it in an attempt to absorb some of Kadri’s power?

While I’m spending my morning musing over what type of arcane rituals were performed with that autographed French fry, I also collected some links for your Friday:

Injuries Starting to Pile Up for Sabres - Die By The Blade
Early season injuries mounting for the Sabres

Leafs teammates break down Auston Matthews' unique shooting ability - Sportsnet.ca
Emerging as one of the game's most dominant and unpredictable scoring threats, Auston Matthews and his quick start drew plenty of praise from his Toronto Maple Leafs teammates.

The SPHL Playoff Experiment: A Rebuttal - Arctic Ice Hockey
It could affect the NHL in a positive manner if it were to adopt a pick-your-opponent format, but what are the downsides?

Steven Stamkos isn’t scoring goals but the ‘Stamkov’ line is - Raw Charge
The goals will come for Stamkos, but for now, he’s finding ways to impact the game.

Mike Babcock helps put Leafs ahead of schedule - Tim Wharnsby on hockey - NHL on CBC Sports - Analysis
The Toronto Maple Leafs' rapid rise from a rebuilding team to one that suddenly looks like a Stanley Cup contender is a credit to the talents of the man behind their bench.

Evgeny Svechnikov more than ready for season debut with Griffins | MLive.com
Right winger, who felt ready to play last week, set to play as Griffins play at Rockford on Friday and host Hershey on Saturday.

ROSTER UPDATE: Tuukka Rask concussed - Stanley Cup of Chowder
And the injury train just keeps on rolling.

Jeff Carter Out Indefinitely After Sustaining Skate Cut to Left Leg - Jewels From The Crown
Guess those prayer circles didn't quite work...