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FTB: Leafs Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

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The future of the Maple Leafs is now.

Toronto Maple Leafs v New York Islanders
Yes, that’s Johnny T scoring on the entire team defending against him in 2011.
Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

The most important news of the day is: John Tavares is a Maple Leaf!

Yes, that’s going to be the most important news for the whole summer. Even Phil Kessel thinks this is pretty neat, per this interview he did with Sportsnet yesterday.

Unfortunately, we still have to wait another few months to see him in a real Leafs game. Not everyone has the fortune of being able to spend the summer practicing while waiting for the next season to begin. Travis Dermott has been busy working a second job to help pay the bills.

ICYMI

Here’s what we wrote about yesterday.

Maple Leafs re-sign Frederik Gauthier; two RFAs remain unsigned - Hardev
Freddy the Goat chomps down on a two-year contract.

Still to be signed are William Nylander and Andreas Johnsson.

Rick Olczyk and Blair MacKasey hired as pro scouts by the Maple Leafs - Katya
The Leafs add two extremely experienced hockey executives to their already long list of scouts.

MLSE and Coca-Cola Canada announce partnership, rename Ricoh Coliseum - Hardev
Coca-Cola is your new dad now, Marlies.

Other Hockey News

To the Islanders Faithful - By John Tavares
John Tavares opens up about the difficulties of leaving the Islanders for his boyhood team, the Maple Leafs. [Species: there were none.]

Sabres Hire Steve Smith - Die By The Blade
Smith joins Buffalo as assistant coach after quitting the same job with the Hurricanes.

Down Goes Brown: Best NHL defence pairs of the past 30 years - Sportsnet
If Erik Karlsson gets traded to Tampa, he and Victor Hedman would form a scary duo. Let's take a look at how similar power pairs have fared.

Mantha Signs Two Year Contract with Detroit - Winging It In Motown
Anthony Mantha's new contract carries a $3.3 Million AAV.

Taylor Hall Is the Entire Devils Powerplay - All About The Jersey
He literally scores almost all of the PP goals.

There isn’t much more hockey news right now.

While we wait for the Senators to figure out what to do with Erik Karlsson, I present to you this random clip from a Star Trek movie. Why? Because while Star Trek VI was one of the better movies of the franchise, this scene has always bothered me. It’s the off-season, and no one else at PPP wakes up early enough to stop me from venting my frustrations with it in this FTB, so here we go.

Wheeler would get so mad when I did things like this.

The first thing one would ask is “why does the Enterprise even have a galley?” In the original 1960’s series it was established the Enterprise had food replicators. In the famous Trouble With Tribbles episode, Kirk ordered a “chicken sandwich and coffee” which the replicator produced with a whole pile of dead Tribbles mixed in with the food.

I can suspend disbelief here and accept there is perhaps a ‘mess hall’ on the ship where the enlisted (non-officer) crew eat their meals. The Galley simply replicates bulk quantities of food and portions them for cafeteria style service. Only the senior officers have the luxury of a food replicator in their quarters, or access to one in a separate officers lounge.

But, that is the limit of my suspension of disbelief here.

First: Valeris did you seriously fire a phaser set to “incinerate” in a tiny room where someone was about to cross the path of the beam? While she is Kim Cattrall, she is also a Vulcan. This is not in any way a logical act. She was inches away from vapourizing the poor woman carrying the dinner rolls who turns away just in time (and then turns away just in time again because of bad editing). I am sure the enlisted crewmembers love being treated like this by the officers.

Second: Why is there an unlocked cabinet with phasers in the Galley to begin with? I can accept that phasers should be available to the crew of a starship in various locations. It makes sense to have emergency weapons available when matter-energy transportation means the ship could be boarded on any deck in a battle. But why in the Galley in an unlocked cabinet? Are they used for some modernist space cuisine? Like how people use little blowtorches to brown a creme brulee now, but in the future we will do this with particle weapons? Or is someone in the Galley like Steven Segal?

Third: How does Uhura, who at this point in the series is like 70 years old, make it all the way from the Bridge to the Galley in under 20 seconds? She even beats the security guards there! And why would she charge into a room so nonchalantly where a ship wide alarm says someone has a phaser set to “incinerate” and is shooting it at random things?

Fourth: Travis, you should totally call your brew Romulan Ale.