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Thursday’s FTB: Let’s find something to help us relax

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The Maple Leafs are bad for our health. What’s a more relaxing hobby?

Toronto Maple Leafs fall to the Montreal Canadiens 6-5 in a shootout Steve Russell/Toronto Star via Getty Images

Good morning Toronto Maple Leafs fans! Well, is it good? It seems to be a bit of a question for Leafs Nation these days. After the Leafs started the season 5-4-2, with the wins not coming in the most convincing fashion, we’ve hit panic mode a lot earlier than ever.

Perhaps we just pay too much attention to the team. It’s still not 100%, with Travis Dermott and Zach Hyman - though with multiple $10 million+ players those two out shouldn’t have this much of an impact - and we’re 1/8th of the way through the season, so there’s a lot of games left to play.

Maybe we take this weekend off?

To help everyone relax, I have a few suggestions for topics of discussion that are less worrying and stressful than the Maple Leafs:

The Weather

Man, how about that weather eh?

It’s just crazy, with the tornadoes in Texas, bush fires in Australia, typhoons in Japan, storms being strengthened by the changing climate, destroying homes, towns, making it hard to get in there and repair and help.....

Okay not the weather.

Politics

How about all this separation talk in Alberta, huh? That’s not going to start tanking the dollar at all. Things were fine in the mid 90’s with Quebec....

Moving on.

My ingrown toenail

The change from sandal weather to shoes and socks has done a number on my big toe. I think I’m going to have to see my doctor today. There’s this big pool of puss...

Sorry.

Poultry

I saw Turkey was trending online, and even though it’s past Thanksgiving I think it’s still my #2 barnyard bid to eat, after chicken and ahead of duck. I think duck is just too greasy for my taster, but Turkeys are so big and they get so dry.

What?

Not that kind of Turkey? Why, what’s the other one?

....dammit.


You know what? Arguing about Matthews not being Patrice Bergeron, or Mike Babcock being a rigid unchanging robot is probably the least stressful things we can obsess over.

Here’s your news.

This was a masterclass in using the name Maple Leafs in the headline to draw people in then not talking about them. My hats off to you Elliotte.

The Pros talk about Frederik Gauthier’s pie baking among other things.

An optimistic look at the Leafs from the Centre of Leafs Nation

I guess if you don’t want to pay for Cody Ceci, this is a good freebie...

More importantly though, how is Carter Verhaeghe doing?

Finally, to cheer things up, here’s a Leaf to Leaf episode with John Tavares and Morgan Rielly from February. First thing I hear, is Morgan utter a Tommy Boy reference. Good job Mo,