I should really start doing Friday and Saturday FTB’s more often. Think about it. First we have Bob Nicholson popping off on Tobias Rieder, blaming him for the team’s downfall, and now good ol’ #MelnykOut decided to join the party.

If y haven’t seen his fabulous quotes by now, Ottawa Senators mastermind Eugene Melnyk believes the Toronto Maple Leafs won’t win. Why? Well, the defence isn’t that great.

Here are the two lines from Melnyk that sparked social media.

They’re going to have a tough time winning a Stanley Cup without defence.

Mistakes were made, and somebody forgot about defence.

Both were about the Leafs and their rebuild, but, let’s be honest, who hasn’t said that to some degree. From the final buzzer in Game 7 vs. the Bruins last season, to the William Nylander extension, the narrative has always been about the team’s blueline. That said, the fact that Melnyk wants to throw his nickels and dimes (the few he’ll spare) at the Leafs while he continues to berate his own fanbase and organization is interesting, wouldn’t you say?

There are several ways you can respond to this, but I thought of a fun one. Remember when Joe Thornton said a game against a John Tortorella-coached New York Rangers team was one of the easiest games they played? Remember what Torts said that summer when asked about it again? If not, let me jog your memory:

It caught me off guard when Stan brought it up after the game. It surprised me. I’ve never heard a player say that. Joe’s a heck of a player, but he’s a player poppin’ off about our team and Joe hasn’t won a goddamn thing in this league. He could go down as one of the better players in our league never to win anything. So what he should do is shut up.

Not bad. If you need a way to respond to Melnyk’s thoughts, why not try Mad Libbing this gem from Torts:

It caught me off gaurd when [whoever notified you on Melnyk’s quote] brought it up [when did you learn of the quote]. It surprised me. I’ve never heard a [noun] say that. Eugene’s a heck of a [adjective], but he’s a [noun] poppin’ off about our team and Eugene hasn’t won a goddamn thing in this league. He could go down as one of the [adjective] [noun plural] in our league never to win anything. So what he should do is shut up.

Let’s see what the defenceless Leafs and their fanbase can come up with here. Post your best Melnyk Lib in the comments, and let’s keep it PG, yeah?

In Case You Missed It

Marlies sign Colton Conrad to a two year AHL contract; joins team on an ATO - Pension Plan Puppets
Some centre depth as the Marlies head into the playoffs and prepare for next season

Kyle Dubas is not your Mary Sue - Pension Plan Puppets
And Mike Babcock is not the moustache twirling villain who disrespects Kyle and his process.

CWHL Awards: Victoria Bach wins Rookie of the Year
The CWHL held their awards last night. Several Furies were up for awards, but they didn’t take home the hardware.

Around the Hockey World

Penguins’ playoff picture is coming into focus - PensBurgh
And it’s looking really good.

Don’t make the mistake of passing on draft prospect Cole Caufield - Mile High Hockey
When a player can score the way Cole Caufield does, it doesn’t matter how tall you are

Systems Analyst: Net Drives Hurricanes Lightning, Victor Hedman, Steven Stamkos, Sebastian Aho - Canes Country
Driving hard to the net giveth; allowing hard drives to the net taketh away.

Of course it’s Tampa.

The Belleville Senators bring you the most neanderthal hockey play of the year.

Enjoy your Saturday Leafs fans!