I’m in a shitty mood anyway so if the Leafs can’t pull out a win tonight, this recap will either get very entertaining or very boring for readers.

To spackle over the newest hole in our lineup, Dominic Moore draws in at 4C. Much has been opined over this already.  If the fourth line centre makes that much of a difference the Leafs have no business being in the playoffs.

First period

Babcock goes with Tomas Plekanec against Patrice Bergeron. Okay. We’ll see how that does.

Leafs start out  in the Bruins zone. Bruins get it out to the neutral zone but Patrick Marleau takes down David Pastrnak in the meantime.

Morgan Rielly hangs around behind the Leafs net waiting for the change. Auston Matthews comes on and heads into the Bruins zone offside.

Jake Gardiner wires a shot in from the blueline.

Bruins clear and change, Leafs bring the puck right back in again.

Travis Dermott puts a shot wide.

The Bozak line gets hassled into their own zone and there’s a bit of chaos.

Rielly leads the charge into the Bruins zone... or thinks he does — he’s offside.

Bergeron line tries to exit but Gardiner sends the puck back.

Zach Hyman has a great chance but he loses control and can’t get the puck to Matthews.

Leafs are taking it to the Bruins, you can see hits just at the edge of the camera view.

Dermott sends a puck in but it’s icing.

Leafs win the draw but Dermott’s spun around in the neutral zone and the Bruins get a chance.

A lot of speed in evidence. And then Ron Hainsey makes a turnover.

Kasperi Kapanen fires a shot right at Tuukka Rask and we get a TV timeout.

I strongly suspect I will be the only sober member of the masthead by the end of the game.

Leafs get set up and get a few shots on Rask, with Mitch Marner corralling rebounds to feed them to the points.

Bruins make a sloppy pass and lose the zone.

Shots currently 6-1 Toronto.  6-3 as Freddie Andersen makes a couple of quick saves. Over eight minutes in at this point.

Freddie makes a save on David Backes and gets hassled a wee bit by one of the Nash boys on their way in.

Kevan Millar shot bounces around beside the net but Freddie keeps it out.

Plekanec ices the puck.

Dermott gets into a puck battle with a couple of Bruins, Leafs get it out.

Connor Brown just misses the net. Couple of dangerous looking Leafs chances before play heads down the other way.

Puck goes drifting in front of Andersen but no harm done.

Andreas Johnsson deflects a shot off Rask’s glove.

It looks like Bowling for Bruins for a moment. Ice is slippery, did you know?

Rielly waits, passes, gets the puck back and  sends a shot in but it deflects out of play.

Torey Krug fails to make a proper entry and hits Marleau on his way back out.

Bergeron shoots but Freddie has it no problem.

Faceoff at centre ice for reasons.

William Nylander moves in exciting ways but can’t get a shot past Zdeno Chara’s stick.

Nikita Zaitsev ices the puck. The faceoff matchup becomes Bergeron vs Bozak.

Krug kicks the puck over the glass, Leafs get a change in.

Save by Freddie, Leafs can’t get it out.  The second attempt works but they can’t get out of the neutral zone.

Zaitsev sends a long pass to Nylander, who can’t quite get a shot off.

Plekanec gets thrown out of the faceoff circle. First time tonight, just over four minutes left in the first.

Andersen has some work to do and ends up a bit starfished on his front. Meanwhile Rielly was hassling Pastrnak.

Leafs ice the puck again.

Puck gets to Kapanen who takes off with Nick Holden on his heels. He can’t get the puck to settle and Rask makes the save.

Charlie McAvoy falls and goes sliding into the Bruins net, taking it right off the posts.

Matthews wins the faceoff, the Leafs can’t keep the puck in and then the puck goes over the glass. First penalty of the game goes against the Bruins, delay of game to Riley Nash. Looks like the puck actually did bounce off the glass but none of the officials were in the position to see it.

It takes seven seconds for James van Riemsdyk to score from in front of the net. It’s not a pretty goal by any description but it’s 1-0 Leafs.Assists to Bozak and Rielly

Jake DeBrusk tries to centre the puck but it ends up down in the Leafs zone.

Bruins are turning up the pressure, trying to get a goal right back.

Johnsson races a Bruin for the puck and beats out icing. Leafs have decided that they want the second goal of the game.

Gardiner shot, no dice.

Pastrnak ends up on the ice.

Leafs end the period firing in the general direction of the Bruins net.

Leafs outshot the Bruins 12-8.

Oh it’s racist uncle time, super.

Second period

Leafs start out in the Bruins zone but they’re being bullied.

A few hard hits in the neutral zone to satisfy testosterone or whatever.

Matthews and Nylander combine for something interesting but no dice.

Hyman starts something but can’t connect.

I find myself having the odd impression that Roman Polak is... fast?

Andersen meanwhile is having issues with Dermott and a Bruin (a Nash) inside his net but he makes the save anyway.

Plekanec gets a shot but Rask has the answer.

Bruins get in the Leafs zone and it’s a battle.

Freddie’s well up out of the crease. Adam McQuaig takes a shot and the puck slides under him to trickle through into the net 1-1.

Fifty five seconds later, Marner corrals a puck, feeds it to Marleau and the puck is behind Rask, 2-1 Leafs. Rielly with another secondary assist.

David Krecji gets tossed from the faceoff so Nylander faces off against DeBrusk.

Hyman gets dumped by McAvoy and neither Matthews nor the fans are happy about it.

Puck goes out but the officials see it go off the glass this time, so there’s a faceoff at centre... and a false start.

Mess in front of Freddie but the Leafs get the puck.

Not long enough, we’re back in the Leafs zone.

Leafs try to spring Kapanen, it doesn’t quite work.

Bruins ice the puck.

Goddammit, Chara goal, 2-2. Comes in from the side and fires it to hit off Andersen’s back and in.

Marner tries to set Marleau up again but the pass is deflected out.

Things get jammed up in the neutral zone and then the Bruins get it out.

Marner gets the puck to Bozak, who tries to set Brown up for a baseball goal.

Bruins putting pressure on Freddie, including a wraparound he nearly missed.

Marchand shot is stopped.

Pastrnak misses the net.

Hyman blocks a Chara shot with his ankle.

Brown beats out the icing and it’s Toronto’s turn to apply some pressure.

Bruins get it out for a change and Leafs ice the puck trying to get it back in quickly.

Pastrnak shot. Bergeron misses wide. Leafs finally get it out but not for long.

Marner and Marleau look like they’re going to do something fun but there are too many Bruins around. Rielly and Hainsey try to find lanes but can’t quite.

Rielly feeds Kapanen who goes dashing in and beats Rask but hits a post. Ping is such a terrible sound.

Flurry of Leafs chances but nothing goes in.

Bruins gain the zone, a few misses, Leafs get it back. Bruins come right back.

Rielly decides to try doing everything himself but nothing doing.

Nylander stopped by Rask.

Hyman misses Matthews.

Finally, Matthews scores! 3-2 Leafs. Assists to Nylander and Hyman. Also check out Ema Matthews’ shirt.

Kapanen comes right back in with Moore and it gets deflected away.

Bruins ice the puck trying to relieve the pressure.

Gardiner shot saved by Rask.  Bruins get the puck out but have to change rather than following it up.

Leafs turn the puck over for a prime chance and the Bruins hit the post.

Bozak line buzzing the net, followed by a Polak shot. Nothing goes in and Rick Nash heads back the other way under pressure. Can’t get a proper shot off.

Jake DeBrusk muscles his way through several Leafs and has Freddie laid out but can’t finish.

Just over a minute left and the Bruins are keeping the Leafs busy in their own zone. Freddie and his posts have it handled though.

Leafs come in offside and have to tag up. They try again but a Bozak pass goes wonky. Bruins try and get something going at the end of the period but can’t manage anything before the horn goes.

Dithering around because the puck went out so they add a second to the clock, Rask comes out and the Bruins have an extra attacker for no real reason as the horn goes again.

Bruins outshot the Leafs 17 to 11, but that’s not the counter that matters.

Third period

Stop and start at first.

Pastrnak tries to find Marchand in front but Marleau sends him to the ice. Unfortunately this sends the Leafs to the penalty kill.

Leafs can’t get it out, it’s Bruins chance after chance until the puck ricochets off the post and out of the zone.

Brad Marchand takes out Johnsson with some sort of contact to the ankle and the fans are incensed at the lack of call. Play is stopped to help him off the ice but that’s it. Andersen makes another save, then the Bruins come in offside.

The puck flies over the glass with 21 seconds left in the penalty.

Hainsey sends one into the Leafs bench six seconds later.

More work for Freddie but he keeps it out and the Leafs survive the penalty. Play finally heads in the right direction again.

Things move north-south for a while. Rick Nash comes in with a shot.

Leafs ice the puck.

It looks like they’re about to ice it again but Rask has to play the puck.

Battles but no real chance for the Leafs  until the puck comes out and back in again, this time with a few neat looking things for the Leafs that don’t go in.

Long shot by Backes stopped by Freddie. Takes the Leafs a second to get it back out.

Nylander gets in deep but is hunting for his linemate, who’s already on the bench. Gardiner shot.

Loose puck leads to a Bruins shot.

Moore ends up in a similar situation - in deep, evading the Bruins but with no one to pass to.

Marner tries to make something happen in the neutral zone.

Nylander comes in under pressure and tries a backhand but Rask is there.

People keep dropping sticks.

Freddie makes a save but the rebound comes out to the Bruins and he has to make another one in quick succession.

Polak makes an effective defensive play. (If I’m noticing a defensive play...)

Rask makes successive saves on Brown and Bozak. JVR just misses the second rebound.

Freddie makes a stop and there’s nonsense after the whistle.

Freddie goes diving and the puck somehow stays out. We have now passed the halfway mark in the third period.

Puck over the glass. Bruins think it’s a penalty.

Leafs come in but have to tag up.

Shot by Rick Nash, stopped by Freddie.

Leafs come up the ice, JVR’s got the puck and then... Adam McQuaig accidentally blocks the shot with his face? His throat? He’s down on the ice. Medical assistance on the ice and then on the bench and then he’s down the tunnel. Throat injuries are scary.

JVR and Bozak try go get something going but there’s too many Bruins around.

Bruins try things in the other direction but Our Heroes get things going back the right way again. Marner, Matthews and Marleau are all on the ice at the same time and things get exciting.

Marchand comes in, forced wide by Hainsey, and Andersen stops the shot.

Bozak’s stick falls apart.

Leafs ice the puck.

Kapanen and Johnsson Are Fast but can’t set themselves up for a shot.

Plekanec dumps someone to the roars of the crowd.

Again a lot of north-south play, nothing particularly dangerous.

Backes ices the puck. Under five minutes left.

Bruins are motivated but the Leafs are sticking with them.

Marner springs Marleau for a two on one and he elects to shoot it himself. Second goal of the night for Patty Marleau and the Leafs are up 4-2 with 3:35 left. Secondary assist to Plekanec.

Boston are having trouble setting anything up. Leafs come back in, then out again. Fans have started the “TUUKKA” chant.

Just under three minutes left.

Marchand tries to start nonsense with Marner before a neutral zone faceoff.

Bruins pull Rask.

Freddie makes a stick save that might be equal parts skill and luck but it keeps the puck out.

Nonsense after the whistle and Rielly and Marchand go at each other. Both go to the box. Four on four. Meanwhile the fans are chanting “FREDDIE”.

Hyman makes an effort that’s half “I’m at centre ice just get it deep” and half “I could maybe make that empty net”. He misses the net but provokes the Bruins into icing. Leafs keep Rask in his net for far longer than the Bruins would like.

Bruins get back into the Leafs zone and keep Freddie busy until he stops play with 42 seconds left.  Bruins call a timeout.

Couple of shot attempts that miss the net. Another save by Freddie.

Krejci tries a centring pass but it heads out of the zone and that is the hockey game.

Leafs win 4-2!

Know what that means? You’re stuck with me.

Three stars

3. Morgan Rielly

2. Patrick Marleau

1. Frederik Andersen