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Tuesday’s FTB: Lightning round

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Answer me, these questions three....or five...maybe seven?

General Atmosphere At The 2014 Toronto International Film Festival Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Good morning Toronto Maple Leaf fans!

Driving around tossing boxes out the window gives me a lot of time to think up things that would be interesting topics, but I usually forget them by the time I get to a computer. Let’s speed run through some of these ideas and we can all toss in our two cents:

Make one serious hockey rule change:

The schedule is changed to a baseball style 2-3 game series vs visiting teams. Save some money on travel, cut down on jet fuel being burned. Ramp up the aggression and thirst for vengeance from familiarity.

Make a stupid rule change:

Powerplays no longer end after a goal is scored. This was a solution to one team being really good and it’s stupid to change a rule based on one team. Let’s see if we can get a hat trick on a single power play.

Relocate one team;

The Arizona Coyotes move to Toronto. the experiment failed. Build an arena at Downsview (is there still room? i haven’t been up there in a decade), have GO run trains from Union to the arena via the train tracks that took the Rolling Stones to the SARS-stock concert.

But the NHL loves the Coyotes!

Whatever, move the Panthers or the Senators or the Jets*. The league is filled with loser teams for failures.

But the divisions!

Stick the Red Wings back in the central, fuck ‘em.

What about Quebec City?

Screw Quebec City. They had their shot at an NHL team and blew it. No more do-overs.

What should the Leafs do about Scotiabank Arena?

MLSE should have taken this time to rebuild the SBA. they should still start and temporarily move the Raptors to the Paramount Fine Foods Centre in Mississauga and the Leafs to the CCC. You can’t have fans anyway, may as well re-do the arena to make it have hockey sightlines and try to add a few thousand more seats in there.

Why not just build a new arena somewhere else?

It’s like the Rogers Centre*, the location is too good to give up. Speaking of, move the Blue Jays to Montreal or Buffalo for a year and rebuild that stadium.

*Yeah, I called it Rogers Centre, because that’s it’s name. Grow up.

Why don’t the Leafs have a third jersey?

Because the 90’s are over and we’ll never be able to duplicate the awesomeness of the 1990’s and their quest for the best hockey jerseys in the world.

Wendel Clark Getty Images

Who’s your favourite Maple Leaf?

Carlton the Bear.

He’s the mascot!

Mascots get their names on the cup, they’re part of the team.

If you could buy MLSE what’s one thing you would do?

Bring all work internal, no contractors, especially ticketing. Get rid of Ticketmaster.

But they control all the concerts!

I’d own the only large scale concert venue in town. What are people going to do? Skip Toronto?

What about the Skydome?

First of all, that’s not its name. Second of all, that’s one of the worst places to watch a concert in the country.

Have you seen this video about this prospect in Europe? It’s neat.

No. I don’t care.

What song is stuck in your head right now?

My youngest is trying to memorize all the words to this, so...this:

Are there any links or is this just a stalling tactic to hit your word count?

Bingo.

Wait, here’s some:

If you still need something to read after this, everyone’s favourite jesterhatted blogger has a piece coming out at 8, so sit silently in your chair and wait for it.

Also if you must talk about American politics, you can do so here:

Enjoy your day folks.