Leafs @ Ducks Preview: Will You People Hire Carlyle Already?!

Toronto Maple Leafs @ Anaheim Ducks
Mumps Ground Zero Memorial Coliseum; Anaheim, CA
10:00 p.m. ET; SN (Regional)
SBN Quacks: Battle of California/Anaheim Calling

Matchup

The Leafs travel to the OC for a matchup against the Ducks, but this won't be like the episodes you binge-watched on Netflix. Rather than looking to score the menagerie of uppers and downers Marissa Cooper guzzled to cope with the angst of being a white upper-middle class teenager, the Leafs are looking to score goals. Rather than hoping to pick up two girlfriends like Seth Cohen, the Leafs want to pick up two points. Much like the high school water polo team, Ducks captain Ryan Getzlaf is completely hairless; it just happens to be on his head.

The Ducks are 16-15-7, in the thick of the playoff hunt in the Pacific Division, while the Leafs are at the bottom of the Atlantic and well out of a playoff spot at.....15-15-7. Because that makes a lot of sense. Also, it is past January 1 and they did not hire Randy Carlyle, so we don't get a draft pick. So that sucks.

I have nothing else of relevant to add, so let's talk about Ryan Kesler and how much he sucks. He's making $6.875M for six years starting next season. And he has 6 goals and 14 points in 38 games. Here is a list of every Leaf that has more points than Kesler this season:

• James van Riemsdyk
• Leo Komarov (who had 12 career goals before this season)
• Tyler Bozak
• Nazem Kadri (who seemingly went five eternities without scoring a goal this year)
• Dion Phaneuf
• P.A. Parenteau
• Morgan Rielly (who Babcock has stapled in the defensive zone)
• Peter Holland (who is playing on the fourth line)

Probable Leaf Lineup

Coming off a win, it seems unlikely there will be much change from last game. Bernier is expected to start again, as Reimer's status for the game remains unclear:

Grabner - Kadri - Komarov

van Riemsdyk - Bozak - Parenteau

Winnik - Arcobello - Lupul

Matthias - Holland - Boyes

Gardiner - Phaneuf

Hunwick - Rielly

Marincin - Polak

Bernier

Probable Anaheim Lineup

Per Daily Faceoff, the Ducks line combos. Frederik Andersen the expected starter.

Rickard Rakell - Ryan Getzaf - Corey Perry

Carl Hagelin - Ryan Kesler - Jakob Silfverberg

Andrew Cogliano - Shawn Horcoff - Mike Santorelli

Patrick Maroon - Nate Thompson - Chris Stewart

Hampus Lindholm - Josh Manson

Sami Vatanen - Kevin Bieksa

Shea Theodore - Korbinian Holzer

Frederik Andersen

Vintage Leafs-Ducks Game of the Day

It's been one year since Randy Carlyle's firing in Toronto, so why not relive his dying days in Anaheim? Here is a 5-2 Leafs win from November 27, 2011; it would be Carlyle's penultimate game behind the Ducks bench*, as he was fired and replaced by Bruce Boudreau four days later.

*at least for the time being, we hope.

Prediction

You whiny Eastern sucks will all be sleeping through this game because you stupid babies can't handle being slightly tired for work tomorrow.