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Monday’s FTB: Leafs Off On A Californiacation

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Leafs head West, Penguins lose big again, and the Shipachyov has sailed.

NHL: Philadelphia Flyers at Toronto Maple Leafs John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

The Toronto Maple Leafs are starting their yearly California road trip. In the past it’s been a time of dread, of collapses and blowouts and of 18-wheelers falling off cliffs. But this year’s feels different. First, the Sharks and Ducks haven’t exactly been the powerhouses they have been in the past, nor have the Kings (relatively). Second, the Leafs are much better than they used to be. They might have had some defensive issues, but they’re just so gosh darn fun and exciting to watch. Auston Matthews and William Nylander have been absolutely wrecking shit. Add it all up, and I’ve been inspired to make a new music playlist while dreaming of the Californiacation...

Psychic spies from Regina

Try to steal your fans’ elation

And Willy Nylanders from Sweden

Dreams of faceoff stats quotation

And if you want these kind of dreams

It's Californication

It's the edge of the seats

And all of hockey civilization

The best teams are in the East

After long being in a different location

It's understood that teams rise and fall

On their Californication

Pay your trainers very well

To ward the soreness of the aging

Marleau, taking baths of ice

While the intermission hot takes are raging

See our Maple unicorn

Matthews’ dangles, porn

Dream of Californication

Dream of Californication

Marry us Auston be our fairy to Leafs’ world

Be the hero of Maple Leaf nation

All those dirty dangles putting a baby inside

Getting high on ScAdjCF60% information

And buy you a statue on Legend’s Row

It's Californication

Space may be the final frontier

But it's made in a blogger’s basement

Marner can you hear the spheres

Singing Bon Jovi off the in-arena station

And Stanley’s not far away

It's Californication

Born and raised by on sheets of ice

Control of the frozen rubber everybody's been there and

I don't mean on vacation

See our Maple unicorn

Matthews’ dangles, porn

Dream of Californication

Dream of Californication

Destruction came from past West road trips

But now it also breeds creation

Of a new Toronto dynasty on Stanley’s throne

They're now another good vibration

And neutral zone traps can’t save the world

On their Californication

Pay your trainers very well

To ward the soreness of the aging

Sicker dangles than the rest

This is their test

This is what we’ve been craving

See our Maple unicorn

Matthews’ dangles, porn

Dream of Californication

Dream of Californication

ONTO THE LINKS!

Odds and Ends—Fulemin Looks at Some Leaf Numbers for their season to date (going into Saturday’s game anyways)

David Pollak from The Athletic wrote a great long form article looking at Marleau’s career in San Jose. It has a good ol throwback quote from one of the pissbabiest of pissbaby former NHL coaches that we know from Toronto.

Katya has this week’s European Report with some good news for the likes of Grundström and Korshkov.

Species has a recap of the Marlies 3-2 loss on Saturday.

Nafio and Annie wrote a recap of the Rays-Furies and les Canadiennes-Thunder CWHL games from this Saturday, and the rematches for both games this Sunday.

Don Money has the recap of the Solar Bears loss to the Atlanta Gladiators.

AROUND THE NHL

The Vadim Shipachyov saga continues to burn like the tire fire it has become:

I can think of a couple of sad-sack Canadian teams who have disappointed to start the year and are desperate for centers. I for one would absolutely Ship a Vadim-Habs union, especially with the recent allegations that Julien hates Russians. I’d need to buy a crate of popcorn!

Elsewhere, the Winnipeg Jets beat the Penguins 7-1. This is the third huge loss the Pens have suffered this year already. It included a historic hat trick for the Atlanta Thrasher’s franchise.

Speaking of California, the Anaheim Ducks finished up their Eastern trip with a 4-3 shootout win over the Carolina Hurricanes. Ryan Miller got into his first game of the year.

Poll

What’s the best California-themed song?

This poll is closed

  • 12%
    Californiacation by Brigstew
    (23 votes)
  • 37%
    Hotel California by The Eagles
    (68 votes)
  • 23%
    California Love by Tupac
    (43 votes)
  • 2%
    California Calling by the Beach Boys
    (5 votes)
  • 17%
    Going to California by Led Zeppelin
    (32 votes)
  • 5%
    I Remember California by R.E.M.
    (9 votes)
180 votes total Vote Now