From The Branches

Goddammit! I want to see your war face Stajan! AAARRRGGGHHH! Jesus H. Christ! You maggots must be the worst bunch of low rent, white bread, no label, link seeking pukes I've ever set my eyes on! Get on the floor and give me fifty! That's push-ups,

Ian White's Mustache wants to have pizza with Phil Kessel! (via corruptcamel.com) You may be asking yourself; "What does a mustache know about hockey?" Well, let's look at exhibit A. No, does nothing for ya? How about exhibit B? Still nothing!? Alright, let&

Carlton the Bear has 99 problems, but Phil Kessel ain't one. Whazzup gangstas? C to da B here, an me an muh ho's can't not wait ta gots Phunky Phresh Phil Kessel out on da ice, scoring go's fo da Leafs and

Welcome to the F***ing New and Bilingual PP to the M*********ing P! Ya, that's f***ing right I speak f***ing French you f***. I wanna f***ing welcome Phil f***ing Kessel to the f***ing Leafs. F***ing A! Right on! I f***ing

Mikhail Grabovski likes new Leaf Phil Kessel so much, he killed the Bruins mascot. Waka-waka! Hi-lo every persons. I, Mikhail Grabovski am welcoming you to join me very much at new, better PPP! At old PPP, much joking about pineapples, but at new Place of Philthy Phil, pineapples serious business.

This is how much Luke Schenn loves Phil Kessel. That's his sexy face... Hi folks, I'm Luke Schenn and I want to welcome you to the new and improved PPP, or Philthy Phil's Place. We've even got our own theme song! Phil

iMik is only one of the latest exciting iPhone Apps! Here on the National Affairs Desk, we like to keep abreast of current technological developments. Just because it's already two years old (and makes everyone within a 20 yard radius hate you to the grave) doesn't

Hellö everybödy ånd welcöme tö flåt påck, self-åssembly FTB, dåted Såturdåy September 19th. Pleåse tö be ensuring thåt yöu håve å cleån, well ventilåted spåce för this cönstructiön. Ensure nöt tö inhåle töö much funky glue, lest yöu end up like writing like Eyebleåf. Åre we reådy, super röck furniture

I'm still giddy over the game.  Nasty Nazem Kadri looked ridiculous when given the proper tools to work with.  Niklas Hagman is still awesome (not that I had any doubts.)  Luke Schenn is still Luke Schenn, just a year older, wiser, stronger, meaner.  And not to belittle the

After watching the game last night, I had one thought: So that's what a good GM does. Years of ineptitude, which is far more painful to watch than mediocrity, had me convinced GM's just were not that important.  I was happy Burke signed on, but seeing

I've wasted the entire night playing the new EA Sports NHL 10 game, and by wasted I mean had a complete blast!  In fact, I'm having a hard time tearing myself away from it.  Let's get to the links so I can go back

* A shot from the Zambonic Youth, as mf37 reads "Leafs AbomiNation" so you don't have to. * The Cheap Seats claims to have read this same book, and enjoyed it. * The Goon's World brings a slightly less biased light to the Phil Kessel proceedings. * Michael

Mattblack is back in Her Majesty's Service and Blurr is in Vegas trying to turn PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries third quarter revenues into a bankroll so I am here to kick off the work week with all the links that are fit to...link: * Get ready for NHL

Joseph Cotton is about to find out how things get done downtown. Attaboy! The sign on the frosted glass says 'Brian Burke - Private Detective'. That's me, BB - the sharp harp. Kidnapping, extortion, missing persons, fixing problems - you name it, it's my

General Douglas MacArthur, Jesus, Bobby Ewing, the Ayatollah Khomenini….Curtis Joseph….and now me. Your chosen one has returned to the National Affairs Desk to lead you back to the land of milk and honey – limited supplies of Ambrosia will be available for the lactose intolerant. * My esteemed colleague mf37

* Down Goes Brown channels his inner Eklund to show the kids how this "prediction" thing is done. Or maybe, it was Miss Cleo... * TSM has the audio from a MacLean vs. McCown verbal showdown. It's a must see! * Getting to know you, getting to know all

via i249.photobucket.com * Friend of the site, jrwendelman went to a Leafs game, and you'll never guess what broke out. * Is Brian Burke about to make a trade...for someone not named Phil Kessel? TSM heard it through the grapevine. * CBC's Elliot Friedman has a

* The Other Vatican ponders the Kessel situation, armed to the teeth with harpoons. * Loser Domi interviews Kyle Wellwood, who is fat. * Vintage Leafs takes a gander into the past with a whole new batch of pictures. * Pal Hall Pall wonders what kind of town Hogtown is. * TML Fan Fury thinks

via hotjack.files.wordpress.com * Steve takes the Twofer Tuesday idea to it's logical conclusion, and gives us a post on how the expected boost in truculence could have an impact on the wins and losses columns and gives us his own take on the loss to the

This relates to nothing. I am sorry darlings, you're still suffering through my reign of terror. What a terrible Sunday that was. No True Blood and Mad Men was lacking in the Joan Holloway department. But today there is a Golden Girls marathon on Hallmark. What do we

Kessel, Kessel, Kessel is all I've seen and heard since Burke re-acquired the Leafs 2nd rounder for 2010, yet all I can think of is the Millennium Falcon.  You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?  Why it's the ship that made the Kessel run

Lazy Sunday link action. There's a bit of swearing, just so you know. * WAKE UP! Brian Burke did something! Trading of picks went down. * MLHS puts their thang down flips it and reverses it; looking at Phil Kessel to the Leafs? * Oh look, an article about Jonas Gustavsson

Oh hi...I thought I'd make you an FTB and then go back to these delicious pastries. Oh alright, I will share. * In the "WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" department, the United States just made traveling for the Canadian teams of the NHL a massive headache.

So everyone is on vacation and cut out of town early. I however, have a kingdom to attend to. See above. I'm playing Yahtzee in my day room. That's what hundreds year old vampire queens do. So while I am in charge, expect delicious anarchy. Here

If Leaf fans had known it would be who knows how long (42 and counting) until the next Stanley Cup victory, how much crazier do you think they would have reacted?  Would Toronto as a city/postal code even exist today?  How many folks would have checked out on hockey